Finding Muna: A Palestinian Novel

Chapter Thirty One

It baffled Muna to see how calm she was acting, she was being attentive to everyone and smiling even wider at their words, she fully engaged in all conversations and went around helping people with their needs, and she even filmed a report video and posted it on her social media platforms.

It was scaring her how she was acting, her body felt numb and she knew it was because her brain and mind were finding it very hard to come to terms with the news she had just received. And she knew it was only a matter of little time when the feelings would come pouring in.

She currently wasn’t feeling anxious or out of place, she felt normal, almost as normal as she used to feel back home at Boston, but she knew better than to allow herself get used to the short lived feelings.

And although none of her friends knew what exactly had happened, they were familiar with how she acted when something terrible happened and they’ve been keeping an eye on her ever since she returned after the phone call. Lamees was especially suspicious of her since she witnessed some part of the conversation first hand.

They made sure to always engage her in conversations, to never leave her to her own thoughts, Lamees took on the duty of always checking Muna’s phone, to make sure no messages or calls would trigger the emotion she was trying so much to hide.

They both knew how bad it would get if she unleashed the emotions, and while they didn’t want her to hurt herself by bottling them in, they also didn’t want to see her depressed and inconsolable again.

The last time they saw her act like that was when her father was having a heart attack and was hospitalized for days, she started by acting like she was fine and then it became an uncontrollable crying fit. And Lamees knew for her to put on the act yet again, the situation was a very bad one, probably even worse than her father’s heart attack.

They were wary of their surroundings and they both tried as much as they could to make Muna feel normal, they kept an extra eye on her and focused on her more than they normally did. Even April who was going through her own pains had to set her feelings aside to help her friends and relief Lamees of the burden.

Luckily the camp was a very big camp and although the Israeli tank destroyed many things and captured many people, most of the camp was still intact and they were able to sleep in some people’s tents for some days.

Muna sighed as she returned from the old woman’s place where she spent time with her cooking and keeping her company, the woman was the owner of one of the most famous restaurants in Rafah before everywhere got destroyed and she was kicked out of her house. Fortunately, she had some bags of flour in the trunk of her car and brought it to the camp along with her.

She made local breads for the inhabitants of the camp which serves as food for them, a spread of bread was usually shared by almost ten people making it almost impossible for anybody to be filled, but it was definitely better than starving to death.

Muna sat next to April with their share of bread and shared it equally, they kept Lamees’s own aside and eat theirs silently. As Muna ate, her mind wandered around and she ended up remembering what took place only a few days ago. She was trying to avoid thinking about it but it was almost impossible, she felt numb and her vision started to go blurry, she sighed tiredly and held on to her forehead.

April kept her gaze on Muna as she finished the last piece of her bread, she pressed her lips together in worry, unsure of what to say to her.

She kept quiet for a while, watching as Muna's face twisted with a frown, as she rubbed her eyebrows and gently pulled her hair.

"What's wrong Muna?" April asked as she finally broke her silence.

Muna forced a smile at her and shook her head gently, without saying a word.

"Lamees and I have noticed you've gotten really disturbed these days, we're worried, you can share what's wrong with us," April said in a soft voice, trying to persuade her.

"It's nothing, April, I'm just stressed, I think," Muna said in a hushed voice.

Then she sat upright and leaned against the brick next to her, she focused her gaze on a stone in front of her as she entered an abyss or deep thoughts. She would occasionally frown in confusion, or look up as if she wanted to remember something. And April was watching her worriedly all while she was in thought.

"Muna..." April trailed in a whisper.

"You are scaring me," she continued and Muna turned to look at her with a confused expression.

"I think I had a dream," Muna started and April rose her brows in anticipation but kept quiet.

"I dreamt that I called my dad and he told me my mum had died," she said and April's eyes widened as she sucked in her lips and held her breathe. Muna kept her confused gaze on April while April kept quiet, completely clueless on how to react.

"The dream was a bad one, I don't like it," Muna said with a sigh and shook her head slowly.

April saw Lamees approaching through her peripheral vision and sent her some bodily expressions.

Lamees eventually got to the spot and sat down besides April who looked like she couldn't keep to herself. The frown on Lamees's face gree deeper as she noticed Muna's downcast look.

"What happened?" Lamees whispered to April.

"I think she lost her mother, that's why she's been so disturbed," April said in a breath, she and Lamees held their gazes as a million thoughts ran through both of thier minds.

Lamees remembered everything that happened that day and how Muna's father was avoiding their call, how he was trying hard to explain to Muna and how they hadn't been reaching out to call her for weeks unlike how they would call her everyday when they just arrived Gaza Strip.

Lamees shut her eyes in devastation and pinched the bridge of her nose in deep thoughts, she was trying to convince herself she probably didn't hear April well but the look on April's face wasn't encouraging.
April kept flickering her gaze between her friends, one who was seated concerned and helpless and the other who looked like she would die from the pressure of what was going on anytime soon.

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© Abdulraheem-Arowolo Aisha
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May Allah free Palestine 🇵🇸
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Share as far as you can, don't take credit for my work.
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I'm sorry for the short chapter, I'm currently going through a writer's block.
And, I'm sorry I didn't upload a chapter on Tuesday, something unexpected happened and I was so caught up with it.
I'll make it up to you, my esteemed readers, in Sha Allah.