Finding Muna: A Palestinian Novel

Chapter Thirty Three

Lamees had a very weird gut feeling, that something bad – probably terrible – was looming nearby, but she was quick to attribute it to the helicopters that wee parading Rafah's axis the night before. Everyone in the camp was left anxious and scared in anticipation of what was to come.

The released hostages weren't fully healed while some died with no place to bury them, and yet again, the IDF were planning another raid on the entire Rafah.

No one slept a wink, due to the excessive worry and fear of the unknown, scared they might not see each other again and scared their only means of existence would be blown off to rubbles.

Lamees couldn't go out that day for her daily search for food; she sat with her friends, flickering her eye balls from one to the other, scared that it would be their own turn to lose somebody soon. Almost everyone in the camp spent most of their time with their families and friends, should in case that would be their last time together.

Stomachs were grumbling, children were crying, the women were wailing out curses, some were sipping the only water they had at the camp which was very turbid and contaminated. People were vomiting at every angle and others were screaming out their lungs in pain and anguish.

Lamees and her friends sat in total silence, each to their own thoughts while they faced each other. The atmosphere amidst them was very tense as they all felt a heavy sadness wash over them. None of them knew what the other was feeling, but they all had a gut feeling.

Just like how April had a feeling about Reem.

Just like how Lamees had a weird feeling about Mr. Ahmad's captivity.

Just like how Muna had a feeling both times April was injured before her leg was removed.

But this time around, it was different because all of them felt it, but instead of speaking up about it, they kept it to themselves.

People eventually got tired of waiting endlessly for the attack to start and they began dispersing, the men went to source for food while the women tried to make bread with the little dough, grass and animal feed they could find around. They left their children to wander around with other kids while some stayed back in their tents to catch up on sleep or clean their environments.

Lamees felt hesitant to leave her friends to source for food, she knew she would surely regret leaving them to themselves especially with Muna's state of mind and April's disability. But Lamees knew there was no other way to get something to eat, and the hunger could not be held for any longer.

She contemplated in her mind, she wondered what to do to keep everyone safe and intact, but at the end of the day, she would have to choose one of the two options.

"I'm hungry and I have a bad feeling," Muna suddenly said and both of her friends immediately turned to look at her, exchanging glances as they did so.

"I feel the same way too, I thought I was the only one having a bad feeling," April said slowly with her gaze on Lamees who had a small frown on her face as she began to get worried.

"Do you feel the same way too Lamees?" April asked and Lamees nodded almost immediately.

"I'm getting scared, I cannot handle losing anyone again after all that has happened, we have lost way too much, I won't survive it if anything bad happens to anyone," April began to cry as she covered her face with her palms and Lamees exhaled, locking eyes with Muna whose forehead was also creasing cue to excessive worry.

"Don't cry April, I'm sure nothing bad will happen to anyone of us," Lamees said in a poor attempt to soothe her friend although she herself knew her words her filled with lies. With everything that had happened, the roaming helicopters the night before and the bad gut feeling; she was almost sure something horrible was going to happen. That would probably make them run insane once and for all.