Finding Muna: A Palestinian Novel

Chapter Forty-Seven

The next few months proved to be harsher on Lamees and it took her a lot to keep going about her day. She had decided to stop going to therapy, as it wasn't helping her in any way and only made her feel worse. The therapist couldn't understand her and figure out a way to help her with her struggles.

Mahmud passing away also took a toll on her and she instantly felt like her entire world had crumbled, Mahmud was the only person she looked forward to seeing all day, he was the one she spent all her time with at the hospital, forgetting all of her worries whenever she sat beside his hospital bed, and she did that until the day he woke up from the coma.

He was fine for the first few days he woke up, although he spent most of his time morning his dead daughter, he also spoke with Lamees and as usual, provided his fatherly warmth whenever she was around.

It was one faithful day she received a call from the hospital only minutes after leaving his place that he had passed away. In utter disbelief, she rushed back to the hospital, trying to calm herself down that the nurse had probably called the wrong person. But much to her disappointment, the nurse's words were confirmed when she entered his ward.

She couldn't believe her eyes, her mind wasn't processing what was going on, the next thing she knew was the funeral was planned and he was buried the next morning. Still in a state of denial, she kept visiting the hospital for the next week, refusing to listen to the people telling her what had happened.

And ever since then she'd been living each day as it came, she wasn't allowed to live alone and was constantly under supervision, to ensure she didn't harm herself. Her health had begun to deteriorate and she was continuously in and out of the hospital.

Everyone around her did everything they could do in their power to help her get better, but it was to no avail, Muna's piercing scream wouldn't leave her head as well as many of the vile horrors she witnessed in Gaza, she constantly thought about the people that were still there, especially kids whose minds would be forever scarred from what was going on.

Lamees knew she was on her last days, the dreams she'd been having proved that to her, at last, she would be with her parents and her loved ones again. She would reunite with Muna and her parents and she would be relieved of all the pain and sufferings she was experiencing.

She sighed as she turned to her right side, staring at her phone that sat still in the drawer, her mind went back to April, her friend whom she hadn't seen in a long time. The last time she had set her eyes on April was at Mahmud's funeral, but her mind was too fuzzy to even speak to anyone, so she ignored everyone who tried to talk to her altogether.

The only people who stood by her were Asma and Jamal, they proved to be supportive and positive about her situation and they always tried to tell her she would be okay sooner than she knew. And even though she knew they were only trying to make her feel better, she didn't argue with them.

Her eyes would well up with tears anytime she had the chance to go through the story of her life; she grew up as an orphan in the care of her brothers who weren't really fond of her especially when she told them the kind of profession she wanted to study, but eventually she found her way around it and studied the course of her dreams. She was kicked out during a period and she moved in with Muna and got close to her parents, she became a journalist, and after only three years into her professional life, she decided to go to Palestine.

Going there didn't cross her mind initially, but she was someone who always felt great pain for the victims of oppression, she usually supported them in the ways she could and she would occasionally make videos or posts regarding what was going on with them. It wasn't until Muna spoke to her about going there that she started to think about it, but unlike how Muna was highly unrealistic, she thought of the consequences of going there and refused quite a number of times, refusing to give in to her friend's endless pleas she fought with her regarding the matter a few times.