This lust is a burden (that we both share)

buck & eddie

A few days after Buck decides to move one and Eddie decides to finally make a move, the team get caught up in a bridge collapse and alter their plans. Not only do they almost lose Bobby, but Chimney gets impaled, Hen gets one hell of a concussion all while Buck has, once again, blood and bruises all over his body. For once, he's not the one with the worst injury. As for Eddie, his ribs are broken but he swear that he's fine. He has seen worse, that's for sure.
It does put a stop to any impending plan Buck or Eddie had. Eddie reassures himself by saying that it's ok, that he'll confess once everyone is better. They've waited for years for this, they can survive a few weeks.

But then Buck helps Kameron giving birth in his own living room and Natalia, out of everyone, is there with him. She's there when the baby is born, she's there at the hospital and she's most likely there in the morning after, sleeping in Buck's bed. Eddie doesn't hear about it until the next day.

Buck's not too vocal about it with the rest of the team, but he still finds the time to whisper to Eddie that they're dating while they change in the living room. He says that it's going well, that he really likes her and Eddie could throw up right here and there.

Eddie tries to convince himself that this blossoming relationship between Buck and Natalia isn't enough for him to no confess his feeling. He selfishly think that he has some sort of dibs, that a decade-long friendship make it warrant to say those three words. He thinks that if Buck feels the same, his relationship with her won't be a problem and that in the outcome where Eddie's feelings were not reciprocated, then it would be fine. They would never do anything to alter their partnership, even unrequited love.

So when Eddie finally shows up at the loft only a few weeks later, palms of his hands a little sweaty and a whole speech rehearsed in his head, he's more confidant than scared. He's gonna come in and knock on the door - this is way too big for him to just let himself in - and wait for Buck to answer the door. Eddie will then come in and refuse any kind of drink and instead, he'll go straight to the point. He'll say "Buck, I love you, I want to be with you, do you wanna go on a date with me?"
He knows of how blunt and fast he's going, but Eddie has come to the gruesome conclusion that they had lost way too much time and that he was done being scared. The bridge collapsing was just one more reminder of how he could've lost Buck, or he could've died himself, all while never giving them a chance to be something more simply out of fear.
He was done. Done trying to conform to what his parent's expectations for him were, done doing what his tia wanted and he was done feeling absolutely in terror whenever he was on a date with a woman. Because he's been shot more than once in his lifetime and he's been to war and a date with a woman - a beautiful woman on top of that - shouldn't make him feel more scared.

So Eddie has a plan, a plan he thinks is simple and he trust the plan up until he comes inside the building, knocks on the door and finds that Buck is not alone.
In fact, he's not even opening the door to welcome him.

"Natalia,'' Eddie's voice croaks out like the air was squeezed out of his lungs. He doesn't move, almost petrified.

"Hi!'', she doesn't know his name, of course. They didn't speak the day of the accident and they haven't officially met since... whatever is happening between her and Buck. Eddie shouldn't be so surprised to see her opening the door and yet, he is. For a split second, he misses Taylor and her annoying face. At least with Taylor, he didn't have to fake interest or even like her (she didn't like him either, one thing they agreed on was not liking each other) but with Natalia, Eddie's conflicted. Should he be rude and ignore her? Should he be cold and distant when he's got frankly no reason to be? He doesn't have the time to decide which attitude to have with the woman in front of him before someone else appears. Someone more important.

"Eddie?'' Buck sounds surprised as he comes to the door. Eddie's eye flashes quickly to Buck's hand sliding on the back of Natalia's dress, before going to Buck's face. He's smiling, but there's a little bit of confusion hiding in his eyes. Clearly, he's wondering if they had anything planned. They did not. Eddie's got no cover story for him being here. Had Buck been alone, that wouldn't have been an issue. But now, Natalia's here. What can he say? Hey Natalia, can you give us a minute? I need to confess to your boyfriend that I love him and I wanna know if he loves me back! Thanks girl!