Winter Widow One Shots

All Good Things Must End - Part Two

His hand shook as he tried to write the letter. All he wanted to do was express his feelings to Nat, give her something to go back to. Tell her it was okay to move on all that normal stuff every one is supposed to say when they die. He tried to hold the pen steady but the words looked shaky and unreadable. He groaned in frustration, which only brought more pain through his head. He dropped the pen and pushed the table away from his bed. The pen rolled off with the motion and was lost some where in the room

He'd been laying in the bed for almost a week now. His lost time didn't mean much . He didn't do anything. Occasionally he'd flip through channels on the television with the volume low or more often times muted. Natalia almost always fell asleep in the chair next to him. A small piece of furniture, not meant for sleeping on. He'd asked Tony to bring in a cot for her, but she wouldn't use it. She wanted to be closer to him. On his good nights she could sleep next to him but since coming that had only happened twice.

He couldn't remember the last time he didn't have a head ache pulsing through his mind. He spent most of his time with the lights dimmed and his eyes closed to try and keep the pain at bay. They had him on medicine most of the time but the serum pushed through it quickly. Cons of being a super soldier he supposed. If only it helped with the pain he was dealing with now instead of fighting off the things that might make it more manageable.

"You should have told me." The red head stood in the doorway of the room that had become home to him. She held something in her hands but he couldn't quite make it out. Her hair covered most of her face as she stared at what ever it was.

"I know... I'm sorry. I wasn't sure how. I thought we could figure things out. Then I could tell you but I'd have a solution." He tried to focus on her, black spots darted across his vision when he narrowed his eyes. They had already had this conversation before hadn't they? He knew he was blacking out a lot but surely he was able to remember the things when he was awake.

She took a couple steps in eyes still focused on the item in her hands. "I would have said yes, you know."

His eyes shot open the black spots dancing wildly forcing him to close them tightly before he could reply to her. "What are you talk- The ring..."

He'd asked Steve to find the ring box before she could. He didn't want her finding it. He wasn't sure when or if she would. But he didn't want her to have more pain. Steve had left earlier that morning to find it while Natalia was supposed to be meeting with Stark while he did it. He hadn't heard from the solider since but had assumed all went well. Obviously not.

"You know Steve can't keep a secret from me. He isn't trained like we are." She opened the box and sat in the chair next to his bed. "It's beautiful."

A simple silver band. Nothing crazy, not even a diamond. He had wanted something she could wear on missions. Something that wouldn't get in the way. It didn't mean she would wear it, but she would have the choice to. It would fit under her gloves with no issue. She pulled it from the box and smiled when she saw the engraving. 'Forever'

"I'd still say yes if you asked James."

His heart stopped and he fumbled to find the remote to raise his bed into a sitting position. "Nat..."

"James, I love you. I have since the first time I pinned you. This, whatever this is that you're dealing with. It doesn't change that. I'd marry you today if you asked me to. I'd rather a day as your wife than being left with no connection after you're gone."

He reached with his shaky hand to take the ring. Forcing himself to sit on his own he swung his legs off the edge of the bed and took her hand in his. Oh how he wished he had the strength to kneel down. To do it properly. Take her on a nice date like he planned. Somewhere private, out of the public eye. Preferably wearing anything but old sweats and a stained tee shirt. But he didn't have that luxury now. "Natalia Alianova Romanova, having you as my wife would be the greatest pleasure of my life. However short or long it may be."