Finally Clean || Seungmin FF

All Your Fault

!!Trigger warning!!
!!Self Harm!!
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🎵: All The Things She Said ~ t.A.T.u
~
3 days.

3 days sober.

it was hard, but with Seungmin, Minho, and Jisung along with everyone else always around it made it slightly easier.

I started talking to hyunjin more as we started bonding over art and different types of paint. He had a real passion for it and i could tell. His eyes lit up at the sudden mention of anything art related and he loved explaining why art was so important.

Felix was constantly baking at our house and I loved being his taste tester. Whether it was a recipe he had made a 1000 times or a new one he found on TikTok or Instagram he always put his whole heart into it. He would spend hours just baking for the 9 people constantly surrounding the house and loved every minute of it.

Changbin and BangChan were there as moral support, they would find a way to drag everyone out of the house and take us out to eat. and when they weren't doing that they were with Jisung writing lyrics. They enjoyed their little life. Chan would tell me stories of Australia and how lovely it was.

Whenever Jeongin was around he would bust up in my room to tell me the slightest things about his life, I enjoyed learning more about him. Whenever we ate he would shove food into his mouth like his life depended on it. It always made me laugh.

Jisung had moved in with us and he always made time for me if I needed it and he really was like another brother. I enjoyed having him around as he would keep Minho in line. Minho seemed happier since Ji moved in.

Seungmin never really left my side and would come over daily just to sit in my room and watch me paint. I noticed that Changbin would often tease him for it, calling him a "lost puppy" but he didnt seem to care much.

2 weeks had passed since my parents died. I was actually starting to accept it, I felt good.

That was until like most stories, something happened.

We all went out for lunch, a small family owned restaurant down the street from our house. Minho and I often went with our parents.

We all walked in and sat down, Chan ordered for us and we were having a small chat when a women around the age of my mother walked in.
I was standing at the counter waiting for some napkins.

"You" was all she spoke pointing at me.

"Me?" I said extremely confused.

"You're the reason he's dead" I was stunned to say the least, everyone at our table, hell the whole restaurant turned and looked at me and the women. Seungmin and Minho got up and walked over.

"There must be a miss understanding, my sister hasnt killed anyone, ma'am" Minho spoke standing in between me and the women closer to me. Seungmin stood behind me.

"Your father is dead because that brat wanted attention." She responded.

"What are you talking about?" Minho asked the question everyone wanted the answer to.

"Your parents found out she was cutting herself half way through their trip to Tokyo. Your mother insisted they leave the next day to insure the safety of their daughter." She said looking extremely angry. "If you wouldn't have been such an attention seeking whore, your parents wouldn't have been on that plane and they'd be alive."

I stood there in shock, this woman had outed me to everyone.

"I-" was all I could get out. I looked over at Minho who looked beyond pissed, but not a me, but the women who stood there.

"You-" He started but he didn't get to finish before getting cut off by another familiar voice.

"How dare you, it doesn't matter why they were on that plane that wasn't gonna stop them from dying. You Inconsiderate woman. How dare you out her in the middle of a god damn restaurant, you have no idea what this girl has been through and you decided to do this?" Seungmin went off. He stepped up from behind me. "And how dare you call her a whore, how did you even know they're parents? hm?" He added waiting for the women to continue.

The entire restaurant was silent, you could hear a pen drop. Seungmin was extremely mad and I was in tears. The Woman broke the silence and walked out with a loud huff.

"Let's go" Chan finally spoke up. he payed and started leaving.

I couldnt move. who was that? how did you she know my parents? was it really my fault?

God im so damn selfish.

Seungmin hugged me. He pulled away and gave a faint smile towards me, We headed home.

I ran up the stairs and locked myself in my room. I didnt wanna hear what anyone said upon finding out about my Selfharm. They wouldn't understand.

I could hear faint voices from downstairs, It sounded like Minho and Jisung going back and forth.

Great I started an argument between them.

I looked over at the box sitting on my dresser.
I can't.

For Seungmin.

For Minho.

For Jisung.

For everyone sitting in my living room.

I caved.

The Beautiful red paint once again fell from my wrist and down to the floor, my grey hoodie's sleeve was now covered in it.

God Help me.

"This is all your fault"

It kept replaying in my head. It really was my fault, huh?

I heard knocks at the door and I gave up trying to hide it.

Seungmin walked in.

"No. No. No. NO!" he said screaming the last no and running to grab me.

"Y/N PLEASE" He begged as I watched everyone else run in.

"It's all my fault" I repeated.

"Seungmin put her in the car" Chan yelled and started running down the stairs.

all my senses where failing me at this moment. the only thing I could do is hold on to Seungmin.

"It's all my fault" I said once again, tears filled in my eyes and I could see somewhat Seungmin.

His eyes to overflowing with tears. "No, It's not" he said as he got into the back seat of the car holding me tight as possible.

I really love to fuck everything up.

I don't remember much, I don't remember getting to the hospital. The last thing I remember was looking at Seungmin.

"I love you," I said before feeling my body going limp and my vision going black.

I wish he hadn't tried to help me, It wasn't him hurting me, it was me hurting him.

𝟎 Days.

𝟎 Days clean.