What We've Missed Without You

chapter 19

*sorry for mistakes*

Ayato didn't feel right after Yui left.

Vampires couldn't dream, but Ayato did...He had reoccurring nightmares of Yui slipping away from him after showing him some sweet moment he longed for. He would wake up several times during the day frustrated and in tears, his cold hands aching for her warmth once more. Every time he closed his eyes, he only saw her. Every time it was quiet, Ayato's mind would trick himself by playing Yui's candied voice to make him look over to see nothing. He would have illusions from his lack of sleep, her figure haunting him and giving him that damn smile she always gave him back then.

Why did she smile at him? He treated her like trash, nothing more than a living rag doll he tore without a care over the years. Ayato, a sinful creature of the night, didn't deserve something so bright...Maybe that's why he tried to take it so many times.

He remembered developing feelings for Yui during her second year staying with the Sakamakis, but Ayato always denied it. He'd deny it until the day his still corpse was found. At first, he told himself that he only found her blood attractive. There were other girls at school with nicer bodies and prettier complexions compared to Yui, but they didn't have her sweet blood. It was like drinking the sweetest strawberry wine, warm liquid gold running down his throat that he didn't want to share with the rest of his brothers. Ayato told himself that her kind personality was just fun to toy with, that taking advantage of someone so naive was humorous. He'd chastise himself the moment he found Yui pretty; really, who wouldn't think she was at least a little bit pretty? No one had such lush pale-golden curls like her, they didn't have the soft and large pink-velvet eyes that filled him with warmth like she did, no one had such beautiful milky skin, a body so delicately thin, a voice as adorable as hers. Back then, Ayato would call himself stupid and then proceeded to call Yui a bunch of horrible nicknames to put her down, feeding into his crippling complex. It got to the point where he craved not only her blood, but Yui herself. He wanted that voice all to himself, he only wanted her to look at him with those soft round eyes, he wanted her voice to keep, her touch to feel, her blood to taste. Ayato wanted all of Yui, even that warm smile that made his dead heart swell.

And yet, he let his crippling complex do the talking.

One day, he finally figured it out. In their classroom after school, they spoke alone:

Flashback:

"Oi, Titless."

"I wish you would stop calling me that, Ayato-kun." The then eighteen-year-old pouted, packing her books into her leather school bag. The red-head scoffed and looked down at the human, sneering at her. "Don't tell me what to do."

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry." Yui let out a small giggle, an innocent smile forming on her face that made something in Ayato swell in warmth. There was too much sugar in her smile, his heart was going to go into diabetic shock. The vampire's usual arrogant expression dropped, a rather solemn and blank color taking in place as he spoke.

"Do you regret getting sent here? Living with us."

"Eh?...Why are you asking this all of a sudden?" She cocked her head, her curls bounced along with the movement. Ayato impatiently scowled and quickly deflected her question, "Just answer the damn question!"

Even he didn't know why he asked.

Yui thought for a moment, her left hand travelling to her lips and allowing her teeth to nibble on her thumbnail. The red-head fought the urge to smile, mentally cursing himself out when the simple thought of 'cute' crossed his mind. Why would he think Yui was cute? She was nothing more than a walking food source, he was just surprised that she hasn't died yet. Yui was the only female in the house, maybe that's why he was getting weird thoughts. After a couple of silent seconds, excluding the noisy students that wandered around the halls, Yui looked over at Ayato and gave a small yet warm smile.