𝗖𝗥𝗜𝗠𝗜𝗡𝗔𝗟 𝗟𝗢𝗩𝗘

16) Jungwon

Hey hey

Sorry I've been M.I.A for so long! I've been a busy busy girl lately

As there were quite a few different POV requests I ended up writing 2 at the same time - I finished Jungwon's first though so here it is ✨

Sunghoon next x

Much love as always ❤️

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With my pistol clasped in one hand and an apple with a bullet hole through it in the other, I listen to the roar of the crowd in the circus ring stands.

I've done this a thousand times, but something feels different tonight. Tonight, all I saw as I pulled the trigger was the wretched face of the rival gang leader who I killed yesterday.

The way his body sagged to the ground, face fixed in eternal shock, frozen in the millisecond that I shot him through the eye.

When I let my bullets fly at the circus ring targets, I also recalled the how the men who'd kidnapped Jay and Jake fell before me like dominoes. I killed so many of them without a second thought.

But what scares me the most is that I don't feel guilty at all, and in truth, I'd do it again.

I hardly even hear the cheers and applause from the audience, and the usual hit of adrenaline that I get from performing is noticeably absent right now.

I'm numb.

My troupe fill in all around me, dazzling the crowd with their grace and skill as they parade the perimeter of the ring one last time.

I don't join them to revel in it, instead I swivel on the spot and begin to head for the backstage curtain.

Then I shiver. Because I can't explain how, but I feel Jay's eyes on me.

I try not to look, but I can't help myself, my own eyes are searching for him.

I don't have to look far, because he's almost right in front of me as I make my way off. He leans against a tent pole at the very edge of the crowd in the shadows by our exit, and sure enough, his gaze is fixed on me.

I keep my face blank as I approach the curtain, not willing to let it show that his attention has any affect on me.

But it does.

I fucked up this morning. I kissed him and now I can hardly think about anything besides wanting to do it again.

I don't know when I would have stopped if Heeseung and Sunghoon hadn't interrupted us.

I left right away, cursing my own stupidity and resolving to stay as far away from Jay as possible.

But that didn't last long.

As soon as the camp was packed up and we mounted our horses to set off for Daeyi, he was at my side again.

For a little while he was quiet, and from the stolen glances I took at his face I could tell his thoughts were solemn. Some of his gang died last night, and even if he is a hardened criminal, that kind of loss must weigh heavy.

He looked... sad.

His stupid face is lovely in any expression, but I didn't like this one.

I wanted to say something but no words felt quite right. Then suddenly, a tiny white butterfly cut across our path in a jagged motion, and I blurted out the first thing that came into my head.

"Did you know that butterflies taste with their feet?" I asked, watching the little insect flutter around us.

Jay stayed silent, and I felt like an idiot, until eventually I dared to look and saw him smiling to himself.