Insane and Profane: Damn Emotions

Day 1: May 31, 2015

Hey. If you've gotten this, you're reading at your own risk. This is a collection of digital diaries of my life as a 14 year-old psychopathic anti-genius. At least, until I turn 15, that's when I'll probably be more sane.

(A guide for the future: Bolshevik is the name of my group of friends. And Pilot Class is a class of elite, honor students which I am happily a part of.)

Fuck dad. Seriously. It's the final two weeks of summer and I can't even get some nice alone time with my dearest mom. All I want to fucking do is sleep late and somehow wake up early (like 4:30 to 5:00 AM early) the next day. I also want to watch NCIS with my mom at night but it looks like neither of the most wanted wants I have will come true.

To be completely honest, I got so fucking pissed, that I almost lost it while we had dinner. As usual it was silent, and all I wanted to do was break it and start smacking my dad with a piece of my mind. But no.

I stepped into my shower, and as soon as I got in, I slammed the door shut and started to cry. Just cry and cry and cry. I think I cried straight for 5 minutes. Once I got the water running, I sat down in the corner with my knees between my arms and laid my head down to cry silently.

I literally prayed to God that I wish that the two things I want most in the world right now would happen. I have complete faith in Him that He'll make these two things happen. Right? Right??

Oh fuck. I forgot. When I go back to school, horrible things will happen.

One - [Pilot. Fuck. Oh no. What if there isn'-. No. NOT an option. Shit.]

And

Two - [What will happen to Bolshevik... Oh God no...]

As of the current moment, I have no self-respect. I don't even think my opinion matters to my dad anymore. He didn't even ask what I wanted to happen for this final two weeks of summer. He just decided that today will be the last day I'll ever be able to do any of those two things I most want in the world. Well you know what I say to that?

Bullshit.

Anywho, Goodnight Profanity...

Signing off,
Caleb Archer Stellar 💫💫