Marvel What If?- An Autism Story

The change

The hallway to Bucky's room was dark and intensely quiet. Vastly different from the mayhem that now goes on downstairs for most of the day.

But Bucky wanted to see Steve. They always enjoyed each others company, but on a day like today, Steve can't wait.

He assumed Bucky just wanted to wish him a happy birthday or grab him by the neck and ruffle his hair like usual. But when he opened the door, the man's standing there with a cake in hand.

"Happy birthday Stevie", he whispers.

"Buck— wha—".

"Why're you so shocked? It's your birthday, isn't it?" He teases.

"Well yea", Steve said dumbly. "But i— ummm".

Bucky just chuckles and places the cake on the side before grabbing his wrist and pulling him further into the room.

"Come on, let me stare at you awkwardly as you open your presents".

"Buck, you didn't need to get me anything".

Bucky pushes him until they're sat together on the bed. He leans over and places a gentle kiss on Steve's cheek before handing him the first one.

"I got you gifts during the depression, I'm gonna get you gifts now".

Steve leans into him slightly as he unwraps a lovely leather bound sketch book. It's a perfect and thoughtful gift and Steves shocked Bucky even knew he needed another one.

"How did you know?" He finally asks.

"I saw you drawing on napkins in the kitchen and the dirt on the floor outside. You like to keep your drawings so you only use sketchbooks. I guessed you must have ran out of pages".

"You can't tell from that", Steve tried, but Bucky shrugged and motions to the book.

"Can't I?"

It use to scare Steve how well Bucky knew him. He could practically read his mind any time of day. He knew when he was getting sick, even if Steve tried to hide it. He knew if Steve had been in a fight, even though his face was clean of wounds.

And even after spending so much of their time apart, going through the blip, and Steve returning the stones, he still knew he needed a new book for his drawings.

"Thank you", he breathed out.

He wasn't just thankful for the present, but for everything. For knowing him so well and keeping him alive for all these years despite being apart for half of them.

He owed his life to this man. This man was his life.

"Thank you", he repeated.

He leant forward and placed their foreheads together, staying still for a moment and smiling when Bucky's eyes met his.

"Thank you", he said one more time, because it still didn't feel like enough.

He wasn't sure if it was him or Bucky, but they ended up tipping gently so they lay on their sides on the bed, noses almost touching.

His hand ended up stroking along Bucky's hand that had found its place on his hip. The quiet felt gentle around them and ordinarily would have put him to sleep. But this time it kept his awake like a live wire in his stomach.

'Thank you, thank you, thank you', he repeated in his head, over and over.

And like the miracle he was, Bucky seemed to notice and leant in further until their lips almost touched.

"Ssshhhh", he said before closing the distance.

Steve sighed into it and let his head tilt back until it touched the bed. And then Bucky was pulling away and holding him close.