Marvel What If?- An Autism Story

One step forward... and one step back again

Bright and early the next morning Steve is up and dressed. Mary went to bed at a reasonable time last night and today is the day they start the routine properly. The clock reads seven am and he's on his way downstairs to wake her up. If she sleeps any longer she wont sleep tonight.

After the success of yesterday he's hoping today will go well now that Mary seems to be warming up to him.

As he enters the living area he can see her curled up on the couch with her special blanket held tight in one little fist. Crouching down next to her, he plans on gently saying her name, but before he can say anything she seems to sense him and grunts.

Her eyes open and almost immediately she's getting up and kneeling, rubbing at her eyes.

"Hey Mear Bear", he whispers. "Its time to wake up".

He waits for a few moments, giving her time to wake up and process everything. She stops rubbing her eyes and sits there, looking around, probably making sure everything is the same, he thinks.

"We're going to have breakfast first. It's what we do after we wake up in the morning. And then we're going to get dressed and brush our teeth".

She looked past him with her eyes staring blankly down so he wasn't sure if she heard him. But she understands more than they think, he knows she does. So he goes to the kitchen to get fish crackers and rice cakes.

She's still in the same place as before, kneeling on the couch with her blanket in her lap. He crouches in front of her again and holds both options up.

"Rice cake or fish cracker?"

She makes no move to grab one or even move her eyes.

"Mary, its time for breakfast. Which one would you like?"

She doesn't move at that either and he doesn't know if he should touch her gently to let her know he's there. But she doesn't tend to like when people do that, so maybe he shouldn't.

"You like the fish", he says and tries to put one in her hand.

"Mmmmmm", she made a noise and moved her hand away.

She seems to be a bit reserved today so he moves to sit next to her instead, giving her a little more space. She doesn't move and sits there, staring into space. What's she thinking? Is she thinking about him or about the food? He starts to think of other ways she could communicate with them. Is sign language an option?

"Mary, we have to eat something for breakfast. Then we have enough energy for the day".

He puts a fish in her hand, she doesn't move away this time. Her fingers twitch slightly at the contact but still looks straight ahead.

They sit in silence for a couple of minutes and she shows no sign of moving. This is strange. She often sits in the same place for hours at a time but she's usually rocking or moving her hands.

"Should we put the tv on?" He speaks as he picks up the remote and turns it to the first colourful program that appears.

They sit there for a while in silence but she doesn't seem to watch the tv either, she's just sat.

"Can you try and eat a fish?" He whispers and taps the cracker still in her hand.

She moves it away from him and holds it to her chest before stopping again and sitting so still. He doesn't know what to do at this point, normally she vocalises something in some way but she's being so so quiet.

They go through a whole episode of whatever kids show he put on before Mary lifts the cracker to her lips and takes a small bite.

He holds his breath and crosses his fingers, but then she spits it back out and throws the rest of it across the room. Steve cant help it and lets out a sigh. She doesn't like the crackers today, but why? Well, he assumes it's not the crackers but he doesn't know what it could be, maybe she's tired? Did he wake her too early?