Marvel What If?- An Autism Story

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As Steve approaches Buckys bedroom he can hear the faint sounds of old 60s music. Neither of them had been around much during that decade but Buck seemed to be drawn to it. He calls it gentle and poetic.

"Come in", he said, muffled through the door at the same moment Steve had knocked.

He was sat at his desk scribbling into a small notebook, but Steve wouldn't ask. That was his thing, and if Bucky didn't say anything about it then neither would he.

"You ready to go on a walk?" He said from the doorway as Bucky's back faced him, still scribbling in his book.

But the question made him stop as his shoulders slumped and he looked up to the ceiling.

"Ughhhhh", he groaned.

"Come on Buck, you don't go out enough, let's just walk through the park, it'll be quieter at the moment".

Finally, the man turned around in his chair with a grumpy look on his face.

"But I cant be bothered, and theres always that annoying man that offers to draw me with a big head".

"He does caricatures", steve laughs and steps in to sit on the edge of the bed. "And you can just say no thank you".

"He doesn't take no for an answer!"

Steve laughs more and shakes his head.

"Okay, okay. How about we avoid that corner of the park. Avoid the man altogether".

Bucky sat in silence for a moment more before sighing loudly and slumping down.

"Finnnneeee".

"Good, get dressed", Steve said and lay down in the bed whilst he waited.

They finally made it to the park and started the loop that Steve ran along most days before the big war started. It was strange being back to his old life after the last few years. But it wasn't quite his old life. Not because of Mary but because of Buck. He didn't know he was alive and then he was in Wakanda, now they're living in the same building with a little girl.

"So, whats been up with you. Anything bothering you that you want to talk about?"

Buck brought one hand up to scratch on his other arm.

"Well, kinda".

Steve looked to him now. He wasn't expecting this answer so it was a nice surprise.

"What is it?"

"Well, the thing is.." Bucky said slowly, avoiding eye contact".

"Buck, whatever it is, I promise you can tell me".

"Okay", he breathed, readying himself. "... I saw a spoiler for the end of new girl".

For a moment steve had no idea what that meant until he remembered the show they used to watch together.

"Buck! I thought this was something serious!"

"Its been on my mind!" Bucky defended, but his grin had started to creep up on his face. "You said I can talk to you about anything!"

"N-n-, you can. Its just —" steve said before the stuttering made him stop and Bucky started laughing.

"I'm just messing with ya, Stevie. Well... I did actually see that spoiler".

"Do I even want to ask?"

"It..." he said before thinking about it. "It didn't seem bad".

"Okay", steve nodded. "Well that sounds alright. I was worried it was going to end badly because they just wanted it to be done after half the cast blipped".

"I know! Me too! Boy, you must have been thinking it would never end once everyone blipped".

"Still not funny", Steve frowned at him. "Still too soon for blip jokes".

"Ah., you old man", Bucky said and punched him in the shoulder.

They walked further into the park and reached a crossroads in the path.

"We need to go this way", Bucky said and lead them off to the right.

"You really hate that artist".

"He doesn't leave me alone, Steve!"

He chuckled and they walked further, past the kids play park where giggles and screams filled the whole area. They walked past the line of trees where squirrels bounced along the ground and ran in circles around the trees.

And finally they reached the water. A lake filling the distance and winding round a corner out of sight. Ducks and the occasional fish splashed around and disturbed the water, sending ripples across the surface.

It was there where they began walking around the waters edge and looking up into the trees. Except Steve couldn't help but notice Bucky was still in his large coat and gloves, but the sun was still shining harshly. He must have been boiling, even with his lower body temperature.

"Hey, Buck", he said, as casually as he could. "Why don't you take your coat off, its getting pretty hot".

Buck looked away and out onto the water where a bird splashed its head under the water and shook as it came back up.

"I don't know", he replied.

Steve let the silence hang for a moment, letting buck say anything else. But he didn't.

"What you thinking?" Steve asked gently.

Bucky shrugged and fiddled around with his gloved fingers.

"I guess... I guess I just don't want to scare the kids", he mumbled and glanced over at a boy walking with his parents.

"I think most kids would think that's cool", Steve said. "And any that don't understand, we explain in a good way that its just a prosthetic. But recently the whole world has experienced a lot more weird than before. I think people wont be as fazed by things like this. It's normal".

"I'm worried it'll scare Mary", Bucky blurted out as soon as Steve stopped speaking.

That made Steve pause. He's talking about Mary, this is good. He needs to be careful with what he says, he wants Buck to talk as much as he can.

"I don't think you can scare Mary with something like this, she isnt like an average kid. She gets scared by loud noises, not the way someone looks".

Buck thought about it a little and Steve thinks it helped in some way. He hoped it helped in some way.

"Its just—", Bucky started again. "In another timeline, shes probably grown up in some really horrible place, not knowing who her dad was and ive just been doing whatever ive been doing without knowing she existed. She grew old and neither of us ever knew".

"But she has a chance in this world", Steve replied.

Bucky nods and thinks some more. Steve can see he's biting the inside of his cheek so he reaches into his pocked and pulls out a small square photograph.

Its of Mary. Shes in a room with red and orange lights somewhere in the distance. Shes pointing up at them with wide eyes as the bulbs of light reflect in her eyes.

Buck stares at it for a while before casually taking a left turn and they both slowly make their way back to the tower.

Steve doesn't know if this conversation has helped, but Bucky doesn't say any more. He does keep the photo though, and Steve thinks that's another step forward.