Grasping at the Sun

3. To Conjure a Failure

 Cinder's eyes fluttered open and she was greeted with an unfamiliar ceiling. The poster covering the burn marks was missing. The first aid kit wasn't anywhere to be found.

 Ross sat on the ground with their back to Cinder. Their eyepatch was slightly off-center, judging from the straps, but they didn't seem to notice. Rather, they were writing in an app on their phone, which was plugged into the wall.

 Cinder didn't make any noise as she sat up. She noticed that there was a blanket on top of her. She had often wondered what Ross's full face looked like, and here was her chance to find out.

 "Hey, Ross, your eyepatch is loose," Linnea pointed out. She leaned out from the living area in the dorm.

 Nevermind. Ross adjusted their eyepatch, and their shoulders tensed. They hunched over their phone even more.

 "Whatcha doing?" Cinder asked Ross. She pulled the ribbon out of her hair and ran some fingers through it in an attempt to fix it. Her fingers caught on some tangles, and Cinder winced.

 Ross put their phone away and stood up. "Was waiting for you so we can go home."

 Home. Cinder supposed this was more of a home than her mother's home had ever been. At least here, she existed to other people. She was a nuisance, but not from birth. Or at least, she hoped.

 "Alright. Out the window we go," Cinder announced with a yawn. "Thanks, Linnea!"

 "Anytime," Linnea replied.

 Linnea waved as Ross opened the window. Cinder leapt out after, and Ross promptly shut the window. Pain shot through Cinder's tail and up to her neck, and she yelped before opening the window again.

 Cinder took a few steps forward and promptly fell over as her tail went numb. She sat up and brushed grass off her face. She then sneezed. Freshly mowed lawns were one of her worst enemies, right up there with society and her parents.

 Ross sucked air in through their teeth. "Oh, sorry."

 Cinder stood up and leaned on the wall behind her. "That's the first time I've heard you apologize."

 "I don't mess up often," Ross scoffed. "I'm out of it lately."

 "Again, I am so, so sorry for dragging you out there last--"

 Ross shook their head. "I need to get over it."

 Cinder stood on her legs and wobbled a little. "Can you even just get over it?"

 "I can. I just need time. And yet, I'm worried that all the time I've got will never be enough." Ross sighed.

 Cinder nodded. "If you ever want to talk, I'll be here."

 "Thank you. You're running late for your class, though."

 Cinder pulled out her phone and cursed when she saw the time before she remembered. "Oh, yesterday was an early out. So my schedule's different today. Yes."

 Cinder tried to run off and nearly swallowed more grass, so she resolved to speedily walking away with her weight shifted further back than usual.

 When she entered her magic class, she sighed. Loretta was lurking by Cinder's desk.

 "Oh em gee! It's Cin-cin! Guys, she made it, she's feeling better!" Loretta chirped.

 Ah, yes. Loretta's thinly disguised daggers again. The classic House Unicorn style of bullying. Cinder wouldn't let herself be hurt. Or, at the very least, she'd bring Loretta down with her.

 Cinder let out a shaky breath. "Get the fuck away from my desk."

 "Oh, someone's mad," Loretta replied in a singsong tone.

 "No shit. Didn't wanna see such an ugly face this early."

 Loretta smiled. "Me, neither. Looks like we're in the same boat."

 Cinder smiled back. "Wow, imagine that. I'd have almost believed you had you not been an asshole from the start. Away from my desk. Now."

 "I only have to be at my desk in" -- Loretta checked her watch -- "two minutes."

 "Plenty of time to fix up your attitude before Madame comes in. Go on, take a deep breath. You need to prepare to suck up to her, after all. Otherwise, how will you pass exams?"

 Loretta's expression finally soured. "At least I'm putting in more effort than the resident teacher's pet."

 Cinder's smile didn't falter, though she could feel embers flitting across her fingertips." One minute. Go on. Don't wanna be penalized for tardiness, right?"

 "Yeah, before you burn down the school and everyone in it." Loretta turned around and left for her desk.

 Cinder finally breathed properly. Her breaths were no longer stuck in her chest-- forced in and out with great effort.

 Finally, Madame Talon entered the room with a bag of mixed roasted seeds in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other.

 The entire room quieted down when Madame Talon entered. She had this aura of harshness that, even when she didn't say anything, told the whole class that she was strict. To top it off, her usual polished appearance didn't exactly leave room for the messier, more disheveled teenagers to feel at ease.

 "I will take attendance and then we'll move outside," Mme. Talon announced.

 Loretta immediately shoved her phone into her bag. She'd gotten three warnings already. She definitely couldn't handle whatever would come next.

 The morning had brought a chilly bite to the morning breeze. The dew soaked through Cinder's sneakers, leaving her toes somewhat cold. A small hint of wisteria still remained on the scent of the air, despite the blossoms dying off with the cold.

 Mme. Talon clapped to get everyone's attention. "We will be practicing the light spells we discussed yesterday. Everyone, please spread out. For your safety and others'."

 Cinder felt eyes on her back. The continuous judgement was why she was at this school rather than a public school. But still, it never stopped.

 "Some of you may take longer than others, but that's fine. People have different skill levels. However, if you cannot do it by the end of the week, you will receive a zero, and this is going to be the first test grade of the semester."

 Cinder did her best that hour, but all that she produced were burns on her hands and a charred patch of grass.

 She had a break between classes, so she made it back to the dormitory for a bit to take a break.

 And she lay down in her bed and took a minute to breathe. Madame Talon believed in her. Cinder knew it. This had maybe been the first time in her life that she'd been believed in by an adult since her father had disappeared.

  And she was going to let Madame Talon down.