decode|| Felix Catton

10

oliver's pov
she's finally gone, sabrina. but...felix isn't the same. he's mopey and hardly smiles. he hardly says but a few words. he's not him anymore. but i don't want him with her. she doesn't love him the way i do. i can make him better. all he needs is me. but the days turn to weeks and weeks turn to months and he just drinks and drinks and does school work to drink more and doesn't get better. soon we graduate and he looks at her with a smile. the first he's let out in a while.

he hasn't had sex since i drove him away and he picked up india right after. not even a kiss. which is what i wanted but he doesn't even kiss our friend group in a friendly way either. he goes to approach her but she leaves ignoring him completely and he goes back to being sad. i say "you don't need her mate. cmon let's have fun" he stares after her "i need her ollie. i really fucking need her" he tells me about the tradition with the rocks in his family for dead family members and offers doing one for my father and it doesn't go well.

sabrina's pov
i walk nervously to my old place. i unlock the door and see it's a wreck. i sigh and grab gloves and bags and clean up. i throw out the drug paraphernalia. and i throw away my mothers shit as well. once it's done i dust off everything only keeping the good bits and memories of this place. mopping the floors after. i pause at the door of the study being hit with memories of my fathers death. the yellow tape is still across the door. i rip it down and open the door. it's exactly how it was when he died. she or anyone else never cleaned up. there's a blood stain on the carpet still.

i kneel and sniffle seeing the old rotted pieces of brain matter from him. tears fall as i grab a brush dipping it in bleach and scrub furiously. nothing i try is good enough to get it out. but i keep scrubbing. crying as i do so memories hitting me more than ever. anger overtakes my sadness and i trash the office more than ever before sitting on the ground my knees to my chest my hands pulling at my hair as i hyperventilate and cry. i'm alone. all alone. no one here to celebrate that i graduated top of my class at oxford. no one's going to be here to celebrate my birthday or any others. no one's going to be here as i settle down, get married and have kids. i'll be just as alone as i am now.

felix's pov
life is empty without her. i've been watching her. followed her to her place. she's not too far from mine. i watch her break and cry from her window and i just want to hug her. to tell her nothing matters but us. that i love her and ill kick ollie to the curb as she desires. i havent watched the video. i havent had the stomach to. i lost her because of ollie and now i have to live with it right? i dont want him here. but he was my choice. i just have to accept it and keep going. i leave her reluctantly and do as i always have since she left me. i drink myself stupid, and fall asleep.

next day
todays ollie's birthday. i decided to surprise him with a trip home. his mother has been calling and asking for him. she's told me the address so i figured it's a good idea it'll be good for him. when he realizes where were going he's not happy. he's honestly looking freaked out and doesn't want to go. her words ring in my head again. but i keep going. his house looks nice and clean. he tries to get out of it again but i ring the bell and his mothers not a junkie. or fucked up. she tells us his dad is out back. anger rises in me but i swallow it.

she tells us about all the shit he's lied to her about but unaware of. it's awkward and he tries to have us leave but i tell him we are staying. i lost her. the love of my life. my obsession, for him to be just what she said. we walk out and i ask "why did you lie?" he makes an excuse and i ask "what else have you lied to me about ollie? were you even drunk that day?" he says "of course! i'm not a predator and i wouldn't do that to you" "i want you gone after your party. my mums already paid for it and sent out invitations. but i want your shit packed and for you to never contact me again" i say not believing him.