decode|| Felix Catton

16

felix's pov
the cops have come and go asking for our statements and she handed in the video she took of the day she was assaulted by oliver and the voice recording of him threatening her away from me before that. guilt eats at me for all of this. it's all my fault. if i had just kept oliver cut off the first time he fucked up this wouldn't have happened. what if the stress of all of this caused her to miscarry? i'd have never forgiven myself. ever. i watch with a smile as the OBGYN does the scan for our little bean. i grin hearing the heartbeat as the doctor tells us the baby is perfectly healthy and how to take care of Sab during this time. i nod "can we tell the gender yet?" the doctor says "it's a bit too early for that yet" with a smile. i nod and watch the little bean move. wow. she prints photos and gives them to us with a bunch of copies and i clean her off and we relax once more.

soon my family comes in and i proudly show off our baby. my mother is over the moon cooing about how cute he or she is already. farleigh says "if it's a boy name it farleigh. if it's a girl name it farleighia" we chuckle and my dad asks "how are you feeling son?" "i feel fine now just tired here and there" i tell him. he nods "we're glad." they reveal the food they brought for us and we eat together and goof off a bit taking the stress and anxiety away from all of us.

few days later

i've recovered and now we're going home but will have check ups for a bit of time. she asks "you're sure you're okay?" i nod "i feel fine love. can't wait to get out of here and bring you both home." packing with her help. she smiles "just making sure" i kiss her temple "and i love you for it. i wouldn't be here if it weren't for you" finishing up. i grab the things despite her protest and leave after signing out. we get in my truck and i drive us to saltburn her hand in mine. i see the cars here and ask "did you know they were throwing a party today?" knowing what it is and the loud music a dead give away as well. she chuckles "not at all" i don't want to party today i just want to relax with my fiance, maybe make some wedding plans. i sigh "let's go" leaving the bags for duncan who approaches.

he nods to me "glad you are doing well master felix" "thanks" i say and walk us inside and they see us "welcome home felix!" i nod "uh...thanks" not up for it. last time we partied here i was poisoned and almost killed. as that thought flows through me i search for oliver, and then remember he's in jail awaiting trial so i breathe easily now. her hand squeezes mine "fee?" i send her a fake smile "yes love?" she asks me "are you alright?" im not. this...is overwhelming. i can't do...this. memories of that night plaguing me more than i thought they ever would. "felix" she calls making me look into her beautiful eyes...i hope our baby inherits her eyes. "breathe fee. it's okay. you're alright. he's gone and i'll never let anyone ever hurt you again." she tells me softly pulling me to her and i rest my head on her shoulder as her fingers thread through my hair. i mutter "im just a bit overwhelmed with a party right away" she nods "and that's okay fee. let's go somewhere quiet okay?" but farleigh comes over "shots!" offering me and her one. i roll my eyes "she can't drink idiot" taking one downing it needing it for my nerves. "it's juice so she feels like she's having one too" giving it to her. she chuckles "thanks" taking the shot of juice. then the familiar song plays. more flashbacks. ollie in the maze with us. telling me he loves me and my love doesn't and doesn't deserve me.

about how his act fell apart and his apologies. him giving me that fucking drink. i can't breathe. i don't know how but i end up with her on my lap in bed. "shhh fee i got you. it's okay." i didn't even realize im crying. i look up and see my angel and kiss her "i can't do this darling i thought i could but i...i cant" panicking. she strokes my tears off my face and says "it's okay Felix. having PTSD because of what happened is okay. cmon" she says standing and she packs some clothes for me. "where are we going?" i ask. "to my place. they shouldn't have thrown a party for your homecoming with what happened at the last party they threw. you shouldn't suffer because of their need to throw a party for everything" she says.

i take her hand and stop her and she asks "what?" "i love you" i tell her and kiss her. she smiles "i love you." and she packs my toiletries and we head downstairs just for mum to see us and stop us "where are you going? this party is for you and your homecoming" i shake my head "i can't do this mum." "what? is it your health? are you okay?" she asks. "no mum i'm fine but this party is not. i can't be here. partying like i didn't just almost die doing the same thing. i love the sentiment but i can't do it. i'm going with Sab to hers for the night enjoy your party" i tell her and leave with sabrina and we head to her place for the night. and we do just as i wanted. we make some wedding plans, even renovation plans too, and we watch tv and relax me ending the night with a sweet talk to our growing child.