Your Highness (Gojo x Reader)

Chapter 1-Reader

My tears flowed down your face, stinging like salt in a wound. Why didn't he get what I was saying? Why did he want to stay ignorant to my feelings?

"Satoru Gojo."

The name left a bad taste in my mouth, like licking rotten eggs off a black top.

My next words rolled off the soft flesh of my tongue. The muscle seemed to be the warrior who fought all of my battles.

"I renounce, " my back was straight, my body trying to be as intimidating as possible in the presence of the large and tall man looming in my gaze, "every ounce of love I have ever held for you, you, you, you, stupid--lump of meat!"

The man didn't even seemed faze, his stare like a statue in the baking heat of the sun. 

He disgusted me. Everything was perfect, until it wasn't. He ruined the perfect marriage, the marriage of my dreams. The marriage that the little girl of my past wrote about in her diary. The marriage, the little girl of my past picked petals off a daisy for. The marriage that the little girl of my past reenacted with a plushie. The marriage the little girl of my past had based the future of my happiness on. It was all falling apart.

This was the first argument I had ever had with the man, and the irony behind the situation was immense.

I had demanded he stayed away from his upcoming battle with Sukuna, for the sake of everybody's life--including his. With this simple demand, my marriage would come to an end. It was silly. Ridiculous even. In my attempt to preserve somebody's life, my entire life goal was snapped in half, like somebody's brittle neck. Complex, but fragile.

Looking back, I see the real reason I was upset. It wasn't because I knew I was right, but instead because I was questioning whether I was right, or wrong.

Within my marriages, happiness was expected, or rather the standard by which I lived. If I wasn't happy I was in ruin.

Happiness was the oxygen in the air I breathed, and my own self-interests were the water in that rolled own my throat. However, I soon discovered, that just like there is such thing as too much oxygen, there can be too much happiness. And running after my own self-interests was like chasing after salt water. Once I finally reached it, it would only leave my mouth frothing, desperate for something authentic and real.

That is what was going through my mind, the moment I denounced my love for Satoru Gojo. I expected a perfect marriage, and when that expectation was broken I ran.

The fight had occurred the day before Christmas Eve of 2018. The next day to be my husband's battle with Lord Ryomen Sukuna.

I begged him not to go. I begged him, with tears that stung like fire in a brush, chasing all life out of the forest of emotions that was my face.

I couldn't lose him. Despite my selfish intentions, I loved that man with my entire being. If he didn't survive, my lifeline would be gone. The man that provided for my every need would disappear from my life. What was I to do if he left. I had nothing in my arsenal. I cared far too much for my life to attempt suicide by becoming a sorcerer. I would be desperate just for survival. Survival was essential.

Without survival, how was I ever going to accomplish anything? I cared deeply for the survival of myself and my loved ones for the sake of my own mental well being. It was a selfish love. If I could survive, and see those I loved survive no matter how miserable, I would be satisfied.

Of course if they did not want that, I was quick to anger. Their participation was critical to my own well-being. Anger turned into resentment. I was unforgiving and harsh, no matter how meek and kind I appeared. A kind word would only last a second, but one dirty glance would send one tumbling to the hell hole I would call my shit list.

The resentment harbored, lead me to enjoy the satisfaction of bringing one's demise to completion. The better term would be revenge.

Pouring revenge on those who crossed me, like hot, boiling water pouring through the throat of my worst enemy, was a song that never ceased to please me, however it was never ending. I always perceived the end of the song, but it seemed to require more of MY efforts to bring it to completion. I was responsible for the air I blew into my instrument of revenge. It took precise air, called anger and resentment to play the perfect notes of my revenge. However, the notes could only taper off with positivity which killed me. It caused me to suffocate myself.

There was no sense in my mind, that I could not end on a major note and a minor note at the same time. Either I ended in a major key, where the person I was seeking vengeance on ended with happiness, the very thing I was chasing, or it ended on a minor key where we both ended without happiness. So for the time being I kept the air flowing through the amplifier I call my actions.

My entire personality was based around what could benefit myself in the short term, not what might improve our relationship in the long term. I was selfish. That selfishness caused me to denounce my love for my husband, which I revere as the single worse decision of my life.