Ashtray -Angel Dust Angst

A/N

Hey, it's Jack!

First of all, let me just say holy crap, this has blown up. Thank you for getting me to 4 thousand.

As for the main thing, this story is gonna be carried out quite a bit more!!! I was kind of just gonna end it at Husk quit drinking and Angel stayed off drugs and they all lived happily ever after.

But life is never that simple. In reality you can't just stop being addicted, even if you love someone more than anything. You can't ever make promises as an addict, and I wanted to reflect that.

I think in media things like this always end up like he loved him more than alcohol so he quit easily. And yeah, connection is VERY important. But it takes an extremely long time and effort to build that up. And let's be real, Husk has been drinking probably over a century total. The withdrawal alone could be insane and enough to give up.

Also, I've seen a lot of people confused about the fact that Angel was very emotional and upset after Valentino died when it would be more logical for him to be happy/relived. Well I can say firsthand that it's not always like that. Valentino is someone that has been in Angels life a long time, and even if it was awful he was still an important figure in his life and shaped him as a person.

Also, the death of Valentino represents death of possibility. With him being gone, Valentino will never be "nice" or love Angel. This would never happen and I am in no way trying to pull the "he can change" card. But as a victim you'll do anything to think that one day it will all be worth it and you will be truly loved. Angel wants closure, something that he will never receive.

As an outside perspective Husk saw this as a favor and something that would help him, with all good intentions. The victims way of thinking can be odd and is very complex. My goal with this book was to try and display these things as best I can with my experience. I will say though that trauma manifests differently for everyone and my way is not the "correct" way.

I'm not saying it's impossible, but it takes a while. So I'm gonna let this play out. I'm gonna let it take a while. I know I was kind of making it seem like I was wrapping it up, but at this point in time I feel like I'm just getting started.

So thank you for sticking around!