Until The Mockingjay Sings

The Boy

We were escorted into the train silently. I kept glancing at Peeta but his eyes were glued to his feet. I wanted to reach out and squeeze his hand. I wanted to tell him that everything would be okay, and that he would be okay. Instead I crossed my hands behind my back.
I was a lot of things but I wasn't a liar.
     The train was very big, definitely not from 12. The inside was full of so much food. Much more that I had probably eaten in my 15 years of life. That wasn't saying a lot though considering that my district wasn't the wealthiest. All of this food could have easily fed my family for years. My thoughts were interrupted by Effie's voice.
     "Sorry what was that?" Apparently she had been attempting to have a conversation with me. "Darling get your head off the clouds. I was just saying that I really love your dress!" Effie was wrong about the dress being mine but beautiful it definitely was. It reminded me of the flowers in the meadow just outside district 12. I would lay there singing while Katniss went out hunting. "Oh, thank you Effie." She smiled at me. She was sweet and too naive to understand that her smiles meant close to nothing when she was sending us to our final destination.
"Haymitch Abernathy, your mentor, should be joining you soon. He knows how things work around here so between him and I, we will make sure to prepare you as best we can." Almost as if by magic, a tall wobbly man walked through the door. He didn't look older than 50 but on his face resided years of exhaustion. "Oh speak of the devil! I will let you guys talk. If you need anything you know where to find me!"
     Haymitch walked immediately to the mini bar of the train and poured himself a drink. "No ice in my room." He said spearing us a small glance before almost immediately turning back to his drink. Peeta and I looked at each other. I'm sure we were both thinking the same thing. This is who our lives depend on? After what like felt forever in silence, Peeta spoke up.
     "So what's the plan?" Haymitch grabbed a muffin from one of the trays and sat down across from us. He ate it in one bite and took long sips of his drink. "Haymitch? What's th-" Peeta was interrupted, "I heard you the first time. What do you think the plan is?" Silence.
"Haymitch I think what Peeta means is-"
"I know what he means sweetheart. What I mean, is that the sooner you come to terms with the fact that you will die, the easier this will be for all of us."

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The hardest part was trying to keep myself distracted. I ate a lot. Much more than I have ever in my entire life. I sang and walked the whole train over and over and finally it was night. As expected though, sleep wasn't on the cards for me tonight. I laid on the big bed and stared at the ceiling, thinking. I closed my eyes and imagined I was back home, picking flowers with Katniss. I thought back further. I was laying on my mother's lap listening to her sing.
Everything is okay Mila. It was just a bad dream. I'm right here, always.
But it wasn't a bad dream. And she wasn't here.
Hot tears rolled down my face in a quick stream. They kept going as I sat up and they didn't stop even when I walked all the way to Peeta's room and stood outside his door, I knocked. I stood there in silence for a while. Why was I expecting to happen? As I was about to turn around and leave, the door opened.
"Hey." Peeta's eyes were swollen and red from crying. His hair was messy and he looked tired. He clearly hadn't slept either. "Hey." I replied, "Sorry I, umm, I couldn't really sleep and I didn't want to be alone." I sounded like a little girl, afraid of the dark. "Right yeah. I get it. Come in." He moved aside and made room for me to walk in. He closed the door and walked to his bed and sat down. I stayed where I was, afraid to do something wrong. "You can sit down, it's a big bed." Peeta patted the spot next to him. He was right, it was a big bed. Still, my heart sped up at the thought of being that close to him.
Peeta and I sat in silence. Not an awkward silence, but a comfortable one. Our breathing was the only thing that could be heard. Without thinking I did what I always did to calm myself down. I sang.

Beneath the stars, where dreams align
A field of hope, a tapestry divine
Rest your worries on a bed of grace
Close your eyes, let time erase

As I sang, Peeta moved closer to me. My heart beat faster.
Beat beat beatbeat beat.
I knew it meant nothing of course, but it felt so nice. "You sing at the hub sometimes right? I've heard you." Said Peeta. "Uh yeah I do. It's no big deal. My whole family loves- loved, singing. It helps me feel connected to them." Immediately I felt like I had said too much.
"That sounds lovely. In my family we bake. My mother owns the bakery and I help her out sometimes. It's not so much the baking I like but the decorating. I love making something plain look appetizing and beautiful." Of course I already knew this. I had thought about stopping by the bakery sometimes but I always thought against it.
"Can you keep singing?" Asked Peeta. Without another word I continued the song.

In the meadow's embrace, where shadows flee
Hope whispers softly, like a gentle breeze
Daisies stand guard, in the warmest light
Tomorrow's promise, born in the quiet night

I heard Peeta's breath slow and become steady. As I finished the song I realized two things.
1. I was scared. I was really, really scared. Katniss was right though, I was smart. I knew how to deal with people and get them to like me. I would make it as far as I had to because
2. I had to keep Peeta alive. No matter what happened, he had to go home and I would make sure he did.
I closed my eyes and thought about the song. Tomorrow's promise, born in the quiet night. I fell asleep, dreaming of what tomorrow's promise might be.