Bury all your secrets in my skin

5. Symbiotic progression

***Sorry for the delay on this chapter, hope you enjoy it :)***

"Am I interrupting?"

The way Sister Camila's shrewd eyes darted over both of them made Beatrice feel incredibly self-conscious.

Not that there was anything wrong with kissing Ava. The sister warrior was no longer held under the constraints of her vows; she had revoked them after the battle at Adriel's cathedral. But Beatrice knew she shouldn't be doing this right now, not with the mess of feelings between them, as well as the rather inconvenient skeletal hand. It was all too confusing, too terrifying, someone was bound to get hurt, and the sister warrior would never forgive herself if that someone was Ava.

"No." Ava answered smoothly for both of them, "Just having a chat."

Camila's gaze lingered on the Halo bearer's mussed hair and raised an eyebrow, "I see..."

She turned to Beatrice, "Anyway, I just wanted to check if you're still training the recruits?"

Beatrice's eyes widened; she had completely forgotten she was rostered on to teach hand to hand skills to the newest batch of sister warriors today.

"It's okay, Bea..." Camila murmured, "You're not expected to, not with..." She glanced pointedly at Ava, "... with everything going on."

"No, no, I'll do it." Beatrice rushed out, jumping at the chance to run from her problems like a coward.

Focusing on training, on teaching technique, that sounded like the perfect distraction from the sister warrior's ever-growing list of problems. Not to mention it would give her the chance to get some space from a certain Halo bearer.

"I'll go too." Ava piped up.

Beatrice's stomach dropped into her boots, but she did her best to keep her expression neutral.

Camila was already shaking her head, "Sorry Ava, Mother Superion has ordered you undertake a physical before you train."

"You're kidding." Ava groaned and when the nun didn't budge, she reluctantly agreed, "Fine, but don't expect me to like it." She looked almost desperately toward Beatrice, "I'll see you later?"

Throughout the interaction between her friends, Beatrice had been caught in a cycle of relief and guilt. Relief that she was going to have some time away from the confusing situation with Ava, followed by guilt that she was relieved to be away from the woman she loved more than anything. And right now with the Halo bearer watching her with eyes begging for Beatrice to give her something, some sort of sign all was not lost. The only problem was, Beatrice didn't know, and that increased the guilt gnawing in her chest tenfold.

She nodded once, "Later."

It wasn't much, but it was all she could offer right now.

Ava relaxed minutely, giving her a tentative smile, "Okay."

"Okay." Beatrice repeated.

~

She had always loved martial arts. The way her body felt as she smoothly transitioned from movement to movement, the power, the precision, and perhaps the most addicting, the feeling of utter control.

Beatrice had always craved being in control.

Maybe it stemmed from a childhood where she was never in control, where she was told what to say, what to wear, how to act... her parents forcing her into a mould where she would never fit. And maybe that's why what was happening between Ava and her, what was happening with her hand, was making her feel like she was losing her mind.