Divergent Puns & LOTR

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Tris thought Four was being Tobiased when he picked on her during initiation.

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Christina: here's some cake, Tobias!
Tris: give it to me, he's already Eaton

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Me: I couldn't be in Abnegation. I'd get bored stiff.

Friend: oh, it took me a faction of a second to get that

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Christina: so Tris, do you have any Dauntless guys you're interested in?
Tris: actually I have four in mind
Tris: *mental high five to self*

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-LOTR-

Mean Girls meets LOTR:

Aragorn: if you're Gandalf The Grey, why are you white?
Gandalf:
Legolas: Oh my God, Aragorn, you can't just ask people why their white
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Me when Legolas is all amazing and jumping and shooting and stuff:
That's what I'm Tolkien about

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I started to walk around with no shoes, and it sort of became a hobbit.

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What if by "Fly you fools!" Gandalf actually meant the fellowship should use the Eagles to get to Mordor?

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Sam: Mr Frodo, I think we're pretty lost. We've passed that rock five times!
Frodo: Oh, I don't know, Sam...it doesn't...
Frodo: ...ring any bells!
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Frodo: hey, Sam?
Sam: yes, Mr Frodo?
Frodo: I think there's going to be a crossover from Harry Potter.
Sam: what?
Frodo: because I just Sau-Ron! Get it?
Sam: Go back to sleep.

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*last chocolate in the box*
*fights with siblings over it*
*brother steals it*
Mum: alright, you lot, who's got the last chocolate?
Me: the fat one hassss it!
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Standing in the doorway to my siblings when my friends are over: YOU SHALL NOT PASS!

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⏰ Last updated: Jul 07, 2015 ⏰

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