Periwinkle - Life in shades of blue (part 1)

Infinity

ねぇ、もしも僕に心があるなら (Hey, if I had a heart)
どうやってそれを見つければいいの？ (how would I find it?)
少し微笑んで君が言う (You smile and tell me)
「それはね、ここにあるよ」(Well, it's right here)

心做し (Kokoronashi) by majiko

Usually, it's a good thing to always be right. This time, though, I wish I wasn't.

It took something more than two weeks for my classmates to notice I wasn't going home after school. Ieiri lives a few blocks down the road, she usually gets here by bike and we already have a routine of walking her to the parking lot to retrieve it after school. Then we proceed out of the school grounds, until we get to the tram stop and Ieiri goes on her way, leaving me and Suguru alone on the bench.

I should've known he was becoming suspicious, he's been making fun of me for moping around on the sidewalk instead of going straight home after class. But I faked ignorance until he straight up asked me. "Hey, how do you get home after I leave?"

"Uhm..." I'm having a hard time coming up with a believable lie, so I choose to be vague on purpose. "I don't take the tram."

"Oh? You have someone to pick you up, how lucky..."

That's the perfect lie, actually, but if there's something I know about lies is that they should be low effort. I don't want to make up even more stories, no one would ever show up for me anyway. "Yeah, I wished... No, I walk home."

"So you live close by." I see he's adding speed to his steps, checking the clock on his wrist and not looking me in the eye. We took longer than usual today, got a little distracted with Ieiri forgetting her locker combination and now we're late for the tram. "I'm afraid I'll join you for today..."

We get to the tram stop, but it's more than five minutes past the right time. I sigh, how do I get myself out of this? "Was it the last one?"

"No, but it'll take me longer to wait for the next one," he turns around with his polite smile, tilting his head to the side. "Mind if I walk you home?"

I gulp, discovering I can't say no to his coy smile and nod before my two dumb neurons connect. "I'm not a girl," I stress the word with distaste, "you can go your own way, I'll be fine."

His tiny laugh is a mixture of embarrassment and uneasiness, I realize just now how that must have sound to him. "Gojo Satoru can definitely take care of himself, huh?"

I shrug, turning around to walk back up the hill. "I'll be fine." My answer is laconic, not wanting to induce him to follow me, but I must have done something wrong because he's literally bouncing by my side.

"Come on, are you scared to show me where you live?" he laughs, unaware he just hit the jackpot. When my face doesn't mirror his carelessness, he deadpans. "I won't stalker you, I swear I just want to be friends!"

The magic word hits me right where it hurts, no way he'll want to be friends after he finds out more about me. I still want to hold onto it, though, so I try to keep up my cheerful and charismatic act when we stop in front of the school. "I just remembered I forgot my math notes," I fake a laugh, face palming dramatically, "don't wait for me, it's getting late!"

I'm already turning to walk back inside the school, feeling victorious and waving at him from above my shoulder. But then of course he has something else to say. "Your math notes..." he mutters, I stop and mentally curse when I hear steps behind me. "You gave them to me, remember?"