Periwinkle - Life in shades of blue (part 1)

Overdose

Overdose 君とふたり(An overdose of you and me)やるせない日々
(Days make me feel helpless)解像度の悪い夢を見たい(I want to have a high-quality nightmare)

Overdose by natori

I would lie if I said the past months have been easy. They've been getting better, for sure, but when it all went down I felt caught in the middle of a whirlpool, unable to decide where to go and just following the current, hoping it wouldn't swallow me. The current was Suguru, of course.

He refused to come to school for a week after that mission, saying he didn't want to graduate anymore. Yoko didn't like his decision, so they fought a lot and arguments got really ugly. I still visited his house regularly, keeping him updated with assignments and notes, but he faked interest in anything regarding jujutsu. His mother discussed with Yaga almost every day of that week until eventually they settled on an agreement: Suguru could stay away from missions until next semester, to give him time to recover, but had to attend classes religiously. Sugu didn't particularly enjoy this compromise, he said he felt useless, like there was no point in just attending school without anything else to do.

For me, it was really hard. I had to pretend like I didn't care that we wouldn't get to exorcise curses together anymore, like I understood what he was going through and I supported him. But I could never put myself in his shoes. I can understand him when he says that he feels useless coming to school without being assigned to missions, but I don't see any alternative. It's either a sorcerer life where you have to kill curse after curse, or a normal life where you pretend not to know the world of jujutsu. What I know for sure, is that taking some time away from swallowing cursed spirits would do him good.

Seeing him back at school, messing around with Shoko and the new first-years, made it all worth it. I could forget how it felt to be together on a mission, how we would act in synch without even discussing a plan beforehand, how I felt like he had my back, the only one who could. It's not all bad, though, cause I've improved a lot since I need to watch out for myself.

He's doing so much better now, that I almost forgot how bad it was this summer.

"What do you want for your birthday?"

I snap my head to the side, adjusting my sunglasses on the bridge of my nose. He's bent over a vase full of sunflowers, carefully looking for the perfect one to pick for his bouquet, his fingers delicately brushing the leaves on the stems to move the flowers around without damaging them. I don't exactly remember when it started, but he decided to take gardening classes to keep himself busy after school at some point. I don't understand how gardening could ever substitute exorcism, but he seems to actually enjoy what he's doing and I definitely enjoy spending time at the flower shop whenever I can to watch him in his element. There's something about the way he manages plants, with care and attention, that makes my chest burst with warmth. Suddenly, I remember we are dating and that I can hold his hand, and kiss it, and hug him, and...

"Are you going deaf?" His laugh washes all of my thoughts away.

"Uh?" I curse at myself for getting lost in my head again, shaking my head to get a grip but almost losing composure again when I follow his voice to find him with a red ribbon between his lips, trying to wrap a nice bow around the bouquet. If my ears weren't red before, they surely are now.

He takes the ribbon in his hand, finishing up his work. From his smile, I'm sure he knows exactly what's going through my head. "I said what you want for your birthday. It's next week, isn't it?"