Disney Villains X Farmer Reader

Catching up over tea. Your Library. Where'd he go?

1

It was teatime. Apparently. You didn't even know the Old man had tea in the years that you've known him.

'Does tea expire?' you thought as you stared down into the swirling yellow-green leaf juice you'd been handed. Looking up at your boss, who'd by now finished with your stuff he'd filched from your hiding place, with a narrow stare 'I'll move them later. When this mess is all sorted out.'

The Old bastard just smiled "innocently" at you and shrugged with open hands and wiggled his fingers, as if to say he had no more (on him at least) then turned back to the tea that sat on the dining table in front of him, courtesy of Maleficent (she was a fairy it tracks that she'd know how to brew a decent tea).

"Pearl must've left boxes of the stuff here before the lockdown, brat. God knows I don't drink the stuff." he said.

"Psh, that's 'cause the only green you consume comes in a glass bottle. Yah damn drunk." you shot back at him, an easy smile returned to your face, the familiar banter was almost enough to make you forget it wasn't just another Monday on the farm with Alfie and his shenanigans; that you had undesired guests squatting with you for the foreseeable future.

"Watch it brat." Alfie fluffed your hair good naturedly like he'd done over the years when he was first teaching you the ropes of farming.

Which started with fencing (not the sport, it's just how we farmers say making fences for paddocks) and standing in gateways to steer new cattle outta the yards. You might be twenty but you were still just a kid to him. If it were Gordon or Tāne that tried that they would be getting popsicle splints for broken fingers. You were sorry the first time, it shouldn't have been so easy, then again Tāne and his family had a track record for broken bones a mile long. But Gordon was one hardy (if a bit lazy, sure you procrastinate a lot unless you've been explicitly told what to do and when to do it but you weren't Gordon level lazy) muthafucker. Any time after that was deserved if they thought you'd be chill about other people just messing with your hair. You pushed his hand away and moved to sit down.

Taking in the faces at the dining table you were noting who was and wasn't there. Clayton was still in the shower, and the unconscious pirate captain was still hopefully unconscious, but everyone else was mostly in the dining room. Save for John Silver (who had probably found the kitchen) and Frollo who was by the looks of it taped up and shoved in a corner. 'Serves the old cunt right.' you thought with vindication as you took in the pathetic form of the duct taped cocooned man, swiping your gaze up to see Jafar was chatting amicably with Maleficent (who woulda thunk it?) and Tamatoa was talking the ears off of Yzma and Kronk, the former was squashed between the two happily chittering men with a displeased twitch about her and crossed arms, her purple feather falling in her face. Madam Medusa and Cruella were getting on like a house on fire.

'Thats weird and mildly unsettling but I guess it makes a twisted sort of sense for them to get acquainted.' you thought and looked towards Sykes who probably should have been resting 'After what must've been the most painfully shitty transition between worlds. Getting drowned and electrocuted... and hit by a train.' But the loan shark just stared at the display cabinet of Alfies impossible bottles collection, 'Yeah that also makes sense, the bastard had a bunch of mini vehicle models in the movie.'

Then the general military types were all (probably) swapping war stories in another corner, adjacent to the one that held the captive tape Frollo. That being: Rourke, Hopper, Shan Yu... and Gaston? 'You know what? He's probably trying to make it into a dick measuring contest next.' you thought with disgusted dismissal, immediately turning away from the creeps in the corner.