Disney Villains X Farmer Reader

Intro Chapter

The Villains retreat.

Well I'm sure we both know why you're here, yes? For the dastardly but enticing, supposedly evil, villains and the escapism this will provide. Things you desire. You might be thinking you know this story, that you know it so well you could predict how it begins and how it ends. It's been played so many times. The gist of them being: the villain meets you at your lowest. Poor and desolate, desperate for someone to complete your story to save you. To complete you. Or maybe they find their heart with you. I'm sure you believe that, naive as the notion is, perhaps you're right.

But who's to say?

...

Oh right, me.

I'm to say: you had a tragic past and so by some rather spectacular turn of events you find yourself with a fortune and a crowd of your childhood favourite (or not so favourite) villainous characters at your door... am I right? That's what you expect isn't it. For me to give you some traumatic awful life changing tear jerker of a backstory for people to pity... until it leads to you getting super rich and falling into the arms of your not so heroic "loves". Well shucks buttercup it ain't that kinda rodeo. I'm not gonna tear you down to build you up how I want you...

Not when I can make you how I want you to be from the get go.

Though, that's not to say it'll be all rainbow cakes and sparkly butterflies. I just don't want to create awful situations that you immediately get over as if they never happened. Like PTSD who? It's unrealistic in some scenarios unless you have that memory thing where it had been so stressful your mind forcefully forgets about it to protect your mental health.

Remember, I'm in control here. You're not irresistible; they won't immediately fall at your feet when you cry. You can't be loved by everyone. You're not all they want. What they want is revenge and justice and satisfaction. It's not as fun when you get what you want as soon as you want it, because then you want something else. And its boring. If you got everything you wanted in Life where would you be? Not here. But then again that's not to say you'd be interested in what they have on offer anyway.

Now say... How familiar are you with Total Drama? Or the Bachelor/Bachelorette? If you aren't familiar with either, don't sweat it. It's not essential knowledge for the story.

Speaking of, I should probably stop wasting your time and get to it. I'm sure I can tell this story for you. I'm also sure not one of you will believe it, it's pretty insane. That's fine with me, buttercup. Telling it will be enough. The problem is where to start. I was thinking, well do I want to give my poor charge (that's you) a depressing backstory to "ease" into the part where you gain an inheritance, or do I want you to hit something with your car and guilt you into caring for it? Decisions decisions... I'm kidding. I know exactly where to start this positively riveting story.

Welcome to your new home for the foreseeable future. Alfie's (that's me in the story sorta) Farmhouse!

Oh! Wait Wait Wait Wait. Waaait. I forgot something. In these kinds of stories I'm meant to tell you a little about yourself and other stuff right? So I should probably do that before the story. My apologies. Totally my fault. (Besides when I publish this you can just skip over anything you don't feel like reading, a bit lazy in my not so humble opinion, but fair enough you don't have to read it all)

All of this is just to get me(as in myself duh)into the zone for writing, as I am quite literally making this up as I go. This is so I don't forget how to write You, my darling reader.

Btw I'm a purposely obnoxious narrator. It sneaks in every now and then so I'll apologise now. Sorry.

I will not be referring to You as the ever classic (Y/N) (L/N) or any similar alternative as I've found it rather distracting.