𝐎𝐍𝐄 𝐒𝐇𝐎𝐓 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐒

white heart

Angelica

The snowflakes fell on the glass and I watched them join each other while they created a thin white layer on the tall window.

There was something about winter that made me feel content.

The white colors, the peaceful warm nights in my room, the lights all around the streets. It was the season I enjoyed the most.

I bit the inside of my cheek as I carefully observed a man walking his dog. The dog was jumping around and catching snowflakes with his mouth. The man patted its head and they continued their way down the street.

My eyes flew to the store nearby, a bookstore. The big letters hung above the wooden door. There was a black shadow on the corner but as soon as I looked there, it disappeared.

"Angelica, are you listening?" The voice startled me and I looked down the mug filled with hot chocolate. It was burning my hand. I quickly removed my palm from the hot cup and placed it on my lap.

"Angelica?" The feminine voice spoke again and Sarah waved her hand in front of my face.

"Yes, I'm listening. Sorry." I whispered and mastered a small smile. Enough to make her know that I am even though my mind was wandering around.

It usually did.

I couldn't concentrate and couldn't function properly.

"You look tired. Why don't you go home and take a rest? It doesn't matter if you miss one lecture. I'll send you the notes immediately." She said and her eyes softened when she started to analyse my face.

The dark circles must be even more permanent on my pale skin. My white hair was a mess but I didn't have time to actually do anything with it this morning. It was falling down my shoulders in messy waves.

"I'm fine. I just couldn't sleep last night." I confessed.

She tapped her nails painted in baby blue color on the wooden surface of the round table. The Cafe was filled with people but my mind felt empty. They were going in and out and with each time the door opened, a cold breeze caressed my legs covered in black Valentino stockings.

"Did you have the nightmare again?" It was only Sarah who knew about that problem. I didn't trust anyone else.

"Yes, I did." Chills ran down my spine at the thought of it.

It was always the same. Blue frozen water, a lake. A voice screaming for help. Two hands. Someone drowning. Me trying to pull them out of the water. It was like in a blur.

I have had the same dream for two years. It usually happens when I'm having trouble with sleeping. And then when I finally do, the nightmare appears.

It's the same. The same voice. The same lake. The same agony.

"You should tell this to your therapist. Please don't keep it away from her. She'll know how to help you."

"She'll tell my parents and I don't need them hanging over my head more than they already do."

"They do it for your own good. I'm sure you can understand how worried they are after your surgery." My eyes lowered to the table at her words. She was right but still,... it was hard for me as well.