YOURS INSANELY

Chapter 54

Song: 'Come Back When You Can' by Barcelona

I've been led on
To think that we've been
Trying for too long
Every time we drift
Were forcing what is wrong
At last that voice is gone
Please take your time
But you've got to know that
I am taking sight
Oh, you look good
With your patient face and wandering eye
Don't hold this war inside

Whoa
Come back when you can
Whoa
Let go, you'll understand
You've done nothing at all, to make me love you less
Whoa
So come back when you can
........................................................................

ELIJAH'S POV

"I need something to eat before I ruin my Sunday with paperwork," Andy stretched his arms and stood up, "You want something?" I shook my head and he left the room.

Since it's Sunday, I called Andy to go through some paperwork and he insisted we do it at my home and not in the office building.

I peeked out of the window of my home office and saw her playing with Dodi.

A very scenic visual appeared of her hair flying up with a late summer breeze as she ran around the lawn.

The booming voice of her laughter reaching up in my room enticed me more and more to keep looking.

I couldn't take my eyes off her even if I wanted to. And trust me I don't want to, right now.

She looked so carefree and happy just like a child, the carefree giggles of her voice evoking something in me that I can't pinpoint.

Though it's so loud, still it's peaceful.

The joy that one might want in life.

I've never really lived in this house but it's the most livliest now than it has ever been.

I'm surprised at myself that how can I bear such loud noise in my house or my surroundings without being drunk? The voices in my head are always more louder to make my peace with those outside. I've never been too social but for the past 4 years, I've isolated myself from everyone, having people around irritates me, and when they talk to me, I'm hardly listening. I feel comfortable alone with my thoughts and they belong to me only.

But hearing her carefree and innocent laugh, I feel after a very long time, the voices in my head are not overpowering, somehow, they've also calmed down.

It has done something that years of therapy and antidepressants couldn't do.

I didn't realize my heart was accrediting her of fighting with my inner demons.

I've never seen her this side ever before.

Being happy in the littlest things.

I smiled to myself thinking how she blushed when I called her out for checking me out.

Her gaze wasn't lustful but perhaps more innocent.

As someone who's dealt with being admired all his life, I after a long time didn't feel arrogant about it.

The more I stared at her the more I was drawn.

I still don't like her but I don't know what's happening with me that I can't keep her out of my mind. I don't know what happened to me that day when I kissed her.

Why I kissed her is still a mystery to me. But it changed something in me that day. It reminded me of the day when I saw her walking down the aisle, it gave me the same feeling.