PSYCHO-PASS : Paradigm Shift

Chapter 13 : Breaking Point (smut)

AN: This chapter contains sexual themes, so please read at your own discretion. Sorry for being a slow updater. 

Part 13 – Breaking Point

There was something different about how he was taking her that night. It was playful... but it was also rougher comparing to how he usually had sex with her. It somehow felt he was in bigger need. Like he wanted to prove himself to someone, whether that would be to Shizuka... or to himself.

It felt like he wanted to engrave himself hard into her body. To make a lasting impact. He felt she was slipping through his fingers now more than ever... despite her concern for him. Shizuka's mind was tortured... and that bothered Kogami as well, regardless of his stoic composure. He observed her far more than he lead on, and every little detail came to his attention, so he was anxious, thinking how they would inevitably change.

And that's why... he felt he had to do something about it. Being an enforcer... he didn't have many options. He was practicing, frequenting gym much more than before. He also read anything, and everything he could get ahold of, including old reports and crimes that were committed in the past, and which resembled radical cases such as The Specimen case, The Butcher case, or The Whisperer case.

Whatever Kogami did... didn't seem to help much. In spite of being able to tell how Makishima thinks to a certain level... Kogami couldn't do much with little information he had over the prime suspect. Now, Kogami felt even more pressured to chase after him. Not many amongst the personnel at CID were able to read into Makishima's mind, or the way he thought... and yet, Kogami seemed to get him pretty well. It bothered him, but it was also useful. He could get closer to Makishima, and finally deal with that criminal mastermind.

And so... naturally... Kogami's hue was getting progressively worse. He got used to it at this point, but he had to work on something... anything to put his mind away from obsessing about Makishima Shogo.

Still, it greatly affected Shinya. Ever since he got reassured of Makishima's existence... of his malice, his ingenious and brutal influence over other killers... Kogami was more determined, more resilient... to do everything he could to get to Sasayama's killer. It was eating him on the inside, and silent, powerful rage was building up within Kogami.

He didn't only lose Sasayama in the process. He lost Shizuka. He wasn't aware she was pregnant at the time, but he also lost his own child. The idea of child was painful to loose, despite it not being even fully formed inside the womb. Kogami thought about how hard it must have felt for Shizuka back then... if he felt so miserable after learning upon that thought. He lost a part of himself. Irrevocably... and permanently.

He was under such stress now... that it resembled the one he went through upon finding Sasayama plastinated. Of course, this stress lacked that initial shock that sky-rocketed his crime coefficient... but the sentiment was very familiar.

The sense of helplessness. Of frustration. Of anticipation for any kind of new clue that could lead him towards Makishima.

There was a mess inside of Kogami's mind... and on top of all that... Shizuka stood... so close, so desperately close to the abyss. In his mind's eye, he saw her standing... waiting to throw herself in. He felt like he was reaching, but she was determined to share his path. And he didn't like it.

If anyone had to take a risk... it should be him. He was already an Enforcer. There was no need for her to risk it all too... especially since she was doing so well under Sibyl. He knew she wasn't happy under the system... but she did a good job as an Inspector.

So, he felt... like she didn't need to risk so much. In that sense, he agreed with Nobuchika. But, not even Gino felt that he should talk her out of this... because, like Kogami, she also lost a lot in the process. She deserved to se Makishima fall as much as the rest of them all. But, Kogami was afraid... of what Makishima could do to Shizuka. He already observed her escapism during The Butcher case. He already knew too much about her... saw her vulnerable... tortured... and so, Makishima already knew how Shizuka operated on field. He also could tell her capacity... he probably estimated her intellect... and also saw how easily she could be lured... even when knowing she was walking into trap. Makishima already knew Shizuka's strong and weak points.