Best For Last || Jacob Elordi AU

my everything

       "You know, not to get into this or whatever," you began quickly as soon as you rounded the corner into your room where Jacob stood. "But, I just don't get how you're mad at me for a comment I made on something you chose to do."

He exhaled calmly, and his expression remained neutral as he spoke, "I'm not mad at that, I know what I did. I wish I didn't, believe me, but I did. And I regret it every single day."

His words were hitting like a ton of bricks already, and he went on still.

"I got upset because it feels like you were making what we had a lot smaller than it was. Because--" he paused, then looked at you warily, "Can I have a pass? For a second?"

You nodded slowly and silently.

"Because I did love you," his nostrils flared; this was clearly a sore subject for him. "With everything I had. Even though I couldn't say it outright, I loved you, Y/N. And I'm sorry but you know I still do."

You shut your eyes tightly and squeezed your bee pendant, using all your strength to not burst into tears. It felt like all the blood had drained from your body, and only a ghost of yourself stood in that room with Jacob. Your Jacob. Telling you he loved you, again. Those words you longed to hear him say for years had been said to you more in the past few days than when you two were together.

"I'm sorry," you whispered when you opened your eyes again, noticing immediately that he was only a foot away from you now. "I didn't mean to play down what we had; you were my everything too. Sometimes it's easier to pretend like I didn't love you as much as I did so it doesn't hurt as much."

Jacob opened his mouth to speak, but then his eyes flickered to something behind you just before Sabrina's voice filled the room. You blinked quickly to dissipate any forming tears.

"Wow you guys are actually gonna sleep in the same room?" Her tone was bubbly and loud, and she seemed thoroughly impressed. "Good for you." 

She disappeared then, Sid hot on her heels, and they were both gone and downstairs without you or Jacob having responded with a single word. His large hand came up to cup your face and run his thumb over your cheek; there was no controlling the rapid rise and fall of your chest for those few seconds that you gazed into each other's eyes wordlessly.

"Don't let this whole thing bother you, okay?" he crooned. "I don't want you upset."

You blinked up at him and nodded, and before you knew what was happening, his eyes were closed and his lips were headed straight for yours.

At the last second, he diverted and placed a lingering tease of a kiss at the corner of your mouth. Your jaw went slack the second he pulled away, and there was an ardent look of satisfaction on his face. You blinked rapidly and looked to the side as his hand dropped from your cheek and he took two steps back, admiring the delirium he'd so easily cast over you.

"T-That," you began, struggling for words, "had to count as like, four passes."

"Whaaa--?" he feigned shock, hand over his heart. "You don't almost kiss your friends? It's a totally friendly thing to do."

You crossed your arms and tapped your fingers over the outside of your elbow, and he gave in.

"Okay: four passes." His sly smile didn't disappear as he passed you, and you followed him closely with your eyes. He stopped all of a sudden in the doorway, and turned back to you just before exiting the room to say, "And don't think I didn't notice that even though you called it a silly high school relationship, you said you weren't over it."