Sweet Thang [COMPLETE]

Deep

Suzette
A Few Days Later

"Mmmm," I wept into Sammy's chest as I laid down with him. It was five in the morning and I'd just come to bed after catering to Shayne and keeping her company all night long. My child was scared to death that she wasn't going to make it to the other side of her addiction alive and it had me rattled. She was throwing up and dry heaving at all hours of the night, having hot and cold flashes, having all kinda pain. It's only been a couple of days since we brought Shayne home but it was damn near unbearable, watching her go through all that she's been going through. "Shhh... she gone be alright SuSu. She gone be alright. Come on, get under here." Sammy peeled the blanket back and I crawled under it and he pulled me closer and held me even tighter. "Shayne sleep?"

I nodded quietly.

"Well get you some rest." I shook my head in protest. "The nurse will be here in a few hours I sh—," he cut me off, "You should get some sleep. I can handle it, you gotta let me help Sweetheart... Ight?"

I nodded while wiping my tears and sitting up to peck his lips. Sammy put my head back in place on his chest and even though I tried my hardest I couldn't fall asleep. There was way too much on my mind to think about.

A half hour later Sammy started rubbing my back.

"You don't listen," he said quietly. I opened my eyes looking up into his. "I'm try'na sleep I just can't... I can't stop thinkin' about Shayne and... everything Shakur told us about what she said happened to her and Zaya... I dealt with a lot of shit with my ex but... I can't imagine how either of them must feel." Sammy took a deep breath. "All we can do is pray and stick beside her. Come on, take a shower with me since you ain't goin' to sleep." My fiancé pulled me into our bathroom and started running a steamy shower. For a while we just stood under the water, Sammy with me locked in his arms, like he knew I just needed to be still for a minute. "You still mad at me for... whatever you was mad at me for?" I simply shook my head no.

"You ready to talk about it?" He prodded.
"Well... you apologized for screamin' in my face that night... we brought Shayne and Zaya home. And I know you. I know you don't mean nothin' by it. But sometimes I feel like... there's no room for me to talk when you're around. You talk to me like your word is law. And sometimes it just makes me feel real small. Like I felt with my ex. And I don't wanna feel how I felt with him ever again," I finally admitted. Sammy didn't say anything. He just turned me towards him and lowered his head and pressed his nose against mine. "You gotta know I care about you and whatchu gotta say SuSu. I told you... I would never ever do you how that sucka did you. I don't wanna make you feel like that. I'm just used to givin' orders. And to be honest, sometimes I expect you to get with me how you would back in the day before... all this. I guess I gotta take into account the way we both have changed now. But I'll be more mindful of how I speak to you. Okay?" I only nodded. "No. I wanna hear you say okay so I know we really on the same page. Ion't like it when you give me the silent treatment." Sammy started kissing my neck and my cheek as my arms squeezed his neck. "Okay," I practically whispered as he pulled back to kiss my lips.

After washing up we brushed our teeth and I dressed in a little ass pair of shorts and a t-shirt before going downstairs to start a pot of coffee for Sammy and boil some water to make tea for myself. He came downstairs in a pair of sweatpants and his Versace robe and slides and kissed on my cheek as I filled his cup. "Thank you Sweetheart. Come out back with me."

Sammy pulled me out into the garden where we sat in mostly silence. "What's it gonna take for you to take a deep breath and relax?" I shook my head, angry that my tears were trying to sneak back up on me. "That's my baby Sammy..."

"I understand. But we gotta have faith that God will do what He said He would do and we gotta have faith that she's strong enough to do this. We've done all we can do and we still right by her side. Right now let's just be grateful that when shit hit the fan she didn't run or that she didn't end up any worse off." I took the deepest breath. "You right. Thank you Sammy."