I see him sitting about a third of the way across the narrow stone bridge, staring up at the moon like it somehow adds to the burden he carries, and my heart fucking hurts. He had the lives of all one hundred and seven marked ones carved into his back, taking responsibility for them. But who takes responsibility—takes care—of him?
Everyone across the ravine is celebrating his father's death, and he's out here mourning it alone. When Brennan died, I had Mira and Dad, but Xaden's had no one. You don't really know me. Not at my core. Isn't that how he replied when I told him that I'd end up falling for him? As if knowing him would somehow make me want him less, but everything I learn about him only makes me tumble harder and faster.
Oh gods. I know this feeling. Denying it doesn't make it any less true. My feelings are what they are. I haven't run from a challenge since I crossed this parapet a year ago, and I'm not about to start now. The last time I stood here, I was terrified, but the distance to the ground isn't what has my pulse pounding now. There's more than one way to fall. Shit. That ache in my chest burns brighter than the power coursing through my veins.
I'm in love with Xaden.
It doesn't matter that he's leaving soon or that he probably doesn't feel the same for me. It doesn't even matter that he warned me not to fall for him. It's not an infatuation, our physical chemistry, or even the bond between our dragons that keeps me reaching in every way possible for this man. It's my reckless heart.
I've kept out of his bed—out of his arms—because he's adamant I can't fall for him, but that ship has long sailed, so what's the point in holding back? Shouldn't I grab hold of every moment we can have while he's still here?
I take the first step onto the narrow stone bridge and put my arms out for balance. It's just like walking along Glacies spine, which I've done hundreds of times.
Except I'm in a dress.
And Glacies isn't going to catch me if I fall.
He's going to be so pissed when he hears that I did this—
Already am.
" Flower?" Xaden's head snaps to look at me.
I take a deep breath, letting my arms fall back down to my side. I slowly and gently walk one step at a time. Xaden swings his legs up and then fucking jumps to his feet. "Turn around right now!" he shouts.
"Come with me," I call over the wind, bracing myself as a gust whips my skirt against my legs.
"Should have gone with the pants," I mutter and keep walking.
He's already coming my way, his strides just as long and confident as if he was on solid ground, eating up the distance between us as I move forward slowly until we meet. "What the fuck are you doing out here?" he asks, locking his hands on my waist. He's in riding leathers, not a dress uniform, and he's never looked better.
What am I doing out here? I'm risking everything to reach him. And if he rejects me... No. There's no room for fear on the parapet. "I could ask you the same thing."
His eyes widen. "You could have fallen and died!"
"I could say the same thing." I smile, but it's shaky. The look in his eyes is wild, like he's been driven past the point where he can contain himself in the neat, apathetic facade he usually wears in public.
It doesn't scare me. I like him better when he's real with me anyway.
"And did you stop to think that if you fall and die, then I can die?" He leans in and my pulse jumps.
