My James Dean- A Matthew Espinosa Love Story

DONT SUPPORT DIGI//Carter

Okay so let's start off with Carter
- I think what he did was utterly disgusting and horrific and unjustifiable. There's no reason he should have video tapped what Maggie was doing. She said no. No means no and he should've stopped, but, Maggie has also stated that had done sexual activities before this video was released and she still stayed in a relationship with him. She could've ended the relationship numerous times but she choose not to. It takes two to tango. It doesn't mean Carter is right but she could've ended things. Due to this I will not be writing Carter in this story. I'm sorry if you are a Carter girl but this is probably the best decision.

-Digi Fest Chicago
I actually Met Carter at Digi and he was very nice to me. He felt bad because my experience was very crappy (I'll explain when I'm done) and told me to spam him on Twitter so he can follow and DM me and try and help me get a cheaper price on tickets to his next tour, but, I did meet Sammy and Skate and Aaron as well and they were so fucking sweet. But what hurt was I was garenteed to meet Matthew and didn't get to and my heart was shattered in millions of pieces! All I wanted was to explain how much he saved me. (I will post everything below) So since I bought my tickets in December my friends and I got a free Sammy and Skate meet and greet. Now the two of them are my favs right after Matt so I was cool with that you know even though I was supposed to meet them anyway. And all of a sudden Matt walked in and I broke down in tears and he tried to come and hug me but the lady in charge was so rude and He looked so pissed. But he yelled I love you and my day was made! So I met Sammy and Skate and tbh, I don't get WHY THE HELL PEOPLE HATE SKATE! No offense Sammy but Skate might have been a tad bit sweeter than you! All I could say was holy fuck and they were such flirts! They were so sweet but I have to give credit to Kenny Hollands parents! Without them I probably wouldn't have gotten to speak to Kenny over the phone and I wouldn't have gotten to meet Sammy and Skate. But after I scrolled through all my pictures I realized THE TOP OF MY FUCKING THONG WAS SHOWING AND SKATE WAS LOOKING AND I FELT LIKE A HOE but my friends told me they didn't notice until I pointed it out so its all good- but bottom line is DONT SUPPORT DIGI! They take your money rip you off and don't give you everything you deserve! But all these Matt girls got my Twitter name and are trying to get Matt to follow me so if you guys have a Matt follow and can help me please do: this is my letter to Matt

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Hey Matt
No this isn't me asking for a follow or anything but it's more so of a thank you. I followed you on Vine on Christmas 2013 and didn't really pay attention to how funny you are nor did I really go on vine but then a month later my grandfather passed away on January 19, 2014 and he was my dad in a lot of ways. I think what hurt me the most was they declared it a suicide and I was on the phone with his wife when they found him. It broke me to my core Matthew because I had previously felt with depression and at that point I was on top of my game when all of it happened. Slowly but surly my depression came back. I slept all day, would wake up and eat and then go back to sleep. Started failing all the classes I could usually get A's in (even like the classes I chose to take for fun) and it was just bad. After school ended for summer 2014 I fell into a bad mix a friends and started doing things that were really bad like underage drinking smoking weed and so much more that I'm so ashamed of and i sent nudes while intoxicated once and once I got back to school it made since why people had stop inviting me places over the summer. I couldn't handle it anymore and my cutting began again after two years of being clean. After two years even after loosing the person I was closet to I still didn't cut and I broke down and did. I was so ashamed but when I came home I could watch your vines. I had started watching all of them on January 24, 2014 (yes I know a long way to go back) but they were the only things that reminded me things were going to be okay. Well about 3 months of my cutting my "best friends" all stopped talking to me. Apparently I was to difficult. Anyways one of the only friends I had left one day came over to my house and was snooping when she was reading my journal which she had done in the past and didn't expect to read everything I couldn't actually tell people. She read all about my plan on how I was just going to end things. But she didn't tell me she knew. Next day I got to school feeling pretty shitty and I got called down to guidance and they questioned me etc. and I went home. All I could do was cry and my mom just held me. I felt like I was a failure etc. but when it was time for me to go to sleep I watched your videos. It was the only time I had any emotion except for crying or acting like a bitch. And ever since then I was determined to meet you. I waited for you at Verizon Chicago but didn't win tickets, I went to LA again for Christmas couldn't catch up with ya so finally I was like its a slim shot but I bought Digi Fest Chicago tickets VIP silver. I waited six months and when they announced you and my friend who I was going with called I started sobbing because finally I was going to meet you. Thing changed the day of Digi. After being guaranteed that even though we had silver we could still meet you I couldn't and I couldn't contain my tears. To try and help they gave us free Sammy and Skate meet and greet passes and when I was waiting you walked in. Now Matt I can't fucking lie I was the first girl to scream and take your ear off and I have a video and I'm so so sorry hahaha but it was worth it because I at least caught a glimpse of you. Matt I know it's not guaranteed you will see this but I'm trying hard to go to your tour and I don't know any other way to explain all of this to you. But this is more of a thank you note where I tried to explain everything... So I'm saying thank you. I don't need a follow or a video I just want you to know that if your videos didn't make me smile or laugh and if my friend didn't tell our school the next day I would've went through with my plan no doubt about it so thank you for being there without being there when my friends left me or when I get like the worst person to walk the face of the earth. I love you Matthew

- if you guys can help please do my Twitter is @Zairelle13 I will love you forever!

I will update tomorrow I promise
Love you guys! Spread the word! 😘