what the fuck? - ghost

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"I am not in love with him. What in your right mind thinks that I am in love with him? How could I be in love with him? He doesn't even talk to me. Ain't no way he cares about me so why would I feel that way about him?" I asked.

"I'm just saying, I can see it in your eyes." Gaz hummed. A smug smile sat comfortably on his face.

"My eyes do not say anything. Nor would they reveal that I'm in love with him." I huffed. I crossed my arms.

"So you do love him."

"No!"

Gaz laughed.

"Woah, what's goin' on here?" Soap asked. Price followed him over to where Gaz and I stood outside the barracks.

"Nothing." I hummed.

"(Y/n) is in love with Ghost."

"Gaz!? What the fuck? I am not!"

Soap laughed. "Right, well, it's pretty obvious you are. Plus, he's got a crush on you."

"Don't be a fucking asshole, Johnny." I snapped at him. "He does not. He barely talks to me. In fact, he avoids me like the plague. I'm pretty sure that he'd let me die in the field if we weren't on the 141 together. He'd let me bleed out and die, but he can't because Price told him to 'be nice' which translates to 'avoid at all costs' to him." I groaned.

"That's not-" Soap went to speak again.

"I'm done with this conversation and I will not be entertaining it any further." I stated before walking off.

"Oh, come on! I've never lied to you!" Soap called out.

"Yes, you have!" I yelled back at him as I kept walking.

I headed towards the mess hall and when I rounded the corner I ran right smack into the skull-covered man. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bump into you, Ghost. Are you going to the mess hall?"

"No." He grunted before turning around and walking back the way he came from.

I let out a sigh. "Fuck." I mumbled. Despite my denial, Gaz was right. I was in love with him. I didn't understand where the hostility had come from. It was out of the blue. The first few months I was on the 141 he would interact with me, letting out small chuckles when I made stupid jokes, listening to what I had to say, making sure my thoughts were heard by the others. And then nothing. Avoidance and one-word answers to my inquiries for the past year. I didn't know what I had done to make him hate me.

I often thought about confronting him about it. Ask him what the fuck. Ask him why the fuck he was being so rude. Ask him what his problem was. Ask him, beg him to tell me what I did wrong. I missed his friendship. I missed the way we were. I missed the Ghost that I knew. The Ghost I had fallen in love with.

But, it was easier to ignore it. Bury it deep down inside, despite how it ached. Do my best to ignore it. He wouldn't give me the time to even ask him, let alone let me get close enough to ask.

I just had to hope that he wouldn't let me die if we were on a mission. Whatever I had done couldn't be bad enough to make him hate me enough that he'd let me die. Right?

Right?

I shook it off and moved into the crowded, loud, busy mess hall. I avoided people here and there, weaving in and out of soldiers so I could get food. When I finally managed to get a full plate, and finally find a place to sit, I let out an angry sigh as another soldier came up to me.

"Excuse me." The soldier said, seemingly already apologetic for what he was about to say. "You've been called to meet the 141 in the briefing room."

"What the fuck." I groaned. I had barely taken three bites of my food. "Fine. Thank you." I waved him off. I dealt with my plate before walking back across the base to where I knew my team was.

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