Lost found forgiven version2 (finding May)

Chapter #7 Peace

I stop my bike at the top of the deserted hill.
My bike noises slows from a rore to a puur until I'm left in silence listing to the singing birds that fly over my head and the small animals that scatter around on the surrounding forest floor.
I breath in deep and exhale slowly just savouring the feeling of peace and sweet dreams that seem to be around me every where.
As I look of in to the distance on the edge of the hill looking at the beautiful sun and blue sky with pinks and oranges streaked across it,
I think of the times my mom would take me up here to blow of steam, I smile at the thought.
I let one single strangled breath leave my mouth before closing my eyes and embracing the memory.
(Flash back)
I scream at the top of my lungs till my voice cracks and my voice dies then I fall to my knees in frustration and pound on the ground with my small fists.
Angry tears fall down my face as my mom approaches me as gracefully as a butterfly.
She kneels dawn beside me and I can just see the tips of her sandals as I look at her from under my long dark lashes, refusing to look at her directly.
"Pumpkin"
She whispers softly in my ear as she strokes my head like a puppy.
I push her away and look the uther way.
Avoiding looking at her.
She just sighs softly then bends down so she's siting cris cross apple sauce right beside me.
She is deadly silent so I sneak a small quick look at her.
She's not even looking at me!
She's just facing the bright worm sun with her eyes softly closed and her head tilted the smallest bit as if she's a flower trying to absorb all the sun she can before it leaves.
As if she can sense my stare she just simply replies "come here pumpkin"
She doesn't even open her eyes as I climb on to her lap and snuggle in to her neck with my chubby arms around her tightly.
My tears have stopped falling and I feel oddly at peace with everything.
My mother is still yet to give me one of her encouraging speeches as she holds me on her chest while the evening sun shines down on us.
I find myself playing with her permed fair hair.
Rolling my small chubby fingers around in it as I slowly doze of in the worm orange glow of the sun.
My mouther opens her mouth and I'm prepared to get a stern talking to about my outburst at school but am pleasantly surprised to here her start to sing one of my all time faverit bed time songs.
Her sweet soft voice sings such a wonderful version of the song that the original singer just couldn't do.
"All my bags are packed and I'm ready to go"
"I'm standing here outside your door"
She is singing softly into my ear as I get comfy on her lap to listen.
"I hate to wake you up, to say good by"
She always skips the next part to get to her favourite or at least that's what she normally tells me but I think she just doesn't remember the words but it's fine with me.
"Cuz I'm leave'en on a jet plain, I don't know when I'll be back again"
"So kiss me, and smile for me"
"Tell me that you'll, wait for me"
"An hold me like you'll never let me go"
she finishes the song in a slow whisper
"Cuz I'm leaven on a jet plain, I don't know if I'll be back again, so kiss me an smile for me, hold me like you'll never let me go"
I can feel her smile on my head as she barely whispers
"Cuz I'm leaving on a jet plain"
My eyes slowly start to fluter to the soft harmony.
Surrounded by the noises of birds and my mom singing softly over and over again in my ear.
My face falls down lazily as I look at the beautiful dandy lion felid we are laying in.
I close my eyes and surrender to sleep.
The last word I think is Peace.

(Flash Back Over)

I crawl of my bike and throw my helmet to the ground as I lay in the soft fresh smelling dandy lion field just looking at the peaceful sky, I feel almost whole as I lay there in silence.
I feel like I'm missing something tho.
Right before I drift in to one of my first peaceful sleeps I've had in forever, one word enters my mind and never leaves.

May.