DESTROYED《 ☆ Miles E42 x reader ☆ 》

Our present

"Y/n?"

The voice sounds fogged in my head, and the ringing in my ear starts to fade out the more the ringing stops.

"Love?" My eyes try to peel open, but it's extremely blurry, and the throbbing headache makes my head pounce.

"Y/n?" My vision finally settles into my surroundings. What happened?

I look around to find myself in bed with an ice pack to my head.

"Miles?" I look up but am met with confusion, hurt dark eyes. Messy black hair and a worried expression painted all across his face.

"You passed out on the floor after I asked you something"

'Will you marry me?' My heart throbs.

"Do you remember anything? Are you okay?"

"No...I don't. Everything is just so...fuzzy? All I remember is dropping something in the kitchen and you there. Nothing else" his face takes on a pained expression but he sighs and looks at me with concern.

"Are you okay though?"

"Yes I am. And honestly. I would really like to sleep"

"Oh..." his mouth forms an 'O', and his eyes shadow with disappointment.

"Okay, I'll leave" he stands and there's a fraction of a few seconds where he's still in reach for me to grab hold of him. There's still a few seconds before he reaches the door of my room.

He turns with a pitied expression.

"I love you"

"I love you too" and with that, he leaves the room.

And now I feel worse. My head still spins with pain, and my heart aches with guilt and sadness.

The following week is no different. We almost didn't really talk anymore, I started to avoid coming home on time and texted when I'd be home by then he's asleep. He still made me dinner and I still made him breakfast. He still kissed and touched me but it never went further than that.

It was like walking on eggshells with a high school crush. To desperate not to hurt the other and let something creak. But too scared to say anything and ruin things. I cared so much about him but I couldn't bare to witness him every night look through the drawer where he hid the ring box, holding it and glance at me when he did so. It pained me more than I thought it would.

We were never the type to be this silent with each other unless we fought. But it feels like the time where he'd be cautious with what he did or say to me in case I didn't like it. He messed around about random things to avoid my sad eyes during the day but admired me while I pretended to be asleep next to him.

It was all so gloomy and devastating to be in. It gave off the wrong vibes of everything we did, even when the other wasn't there. He was someone so special to me, someone who felt as if I've known him forever. And yet the word 'marry' scared me.

I guess an old dog can't learn new tricks.

<<<<☆>>>>

My bedroom door creeks open and I make eye contact with exhausted eyes. Exhausted more than usual which was never the case with him. I hold up my arms as the first ever invitation since our falling out and he comes crashing into my air.

"Bad day?"

"No. Just exhaustjng" he usually elaborate why.

"You wanna talk about it?"

"...no....." Then there's that silent that always kills me. The loud silence so much so that I hear the clock from across the hall. We were never this uncomfortably quiet.