Pictures of us || BWS, The Vamps

12 | stolen moments

"we're the puzzle I can't fix
a million pieces still missing
when I look at you and me, I still can't tell what this is
but it's out of my control
love's a hole
you say you don't wanna fall in
but you keep falling"

September 20, 2014, at the McVey home in the London suburbs

Brad

I wake up in the McVey's garden, lying on a deckchair with a blanket over me. What am I doing here?

As I sit up briskly, memories of the night before come flooding back. Why did Alex join me? What was I thinking, telling him about her? What the hell's the matter with you, Brad? It's not like you to break down like that in anyone's arms. What's the matter with you?

I silence my thoughts and take refuge in the kitchen, in search of any hot beverage - I'm freezing and hope I didn't get sick last night (just before the tour starts, that would be a disaster).

It's Saturday, Alex is out grocery shopping with Isabelle and Anthony, and the guys are busy working on the lyrics for our new songs. So we all settled down on the sofas in the living room, James armed with his faithful guitar.

After a good hour of writing, we finished Stolen Moments. Most of the time, I'm not necessarily involved in writing the lyrics, concentrating more on the instrumental part of the tracks. Nevertheless, I was surprisingly involved in writing this one.

"Okay guys," Tris begins. "Let's give this part a try and see how it goes. James and Brad, are you ready?"

"Here we go," replies James.

I take a deep breath when I hear the first notes played by James, and then go for it.

"It used to be enough, to have you around me

Before we said too much

Now you can't be around me

Cause now you find it hard

Not to drop your guard

I'm breaking in to steal it all

And I'll escape with every stolen moment

That I spent with you

Call me a thief, girl if you want

But piece by piece I'll take each stolen moment"

Con is the first to speak: "That was great, guys! This song is really going to be a crowd-pleaser!" he declares enthusiastically.

"Speaking of stolen moments," Tris comments, turning to me, "what were you doing last night in the garden with Alex?"

The look and the smile he gives me make me want to jump on him and choke him until he regrets bringing up the topic Alex.

"You don't have to look at me like that, you can do what you like," he tries to defend himself when he sees my murderous stare.

"What do you mean?" exclaims James. "What's he talking about, Brad?" he says, suddenly serious.

"Nothing's happened," I snap.

You just told her about the event that's been haunting your life for the last two years, scoffs my conscience. They don't need to know, I reply, trying to shut her up.

"Yeah," Connor says doubtfully. "I'm not so sure about that."

"Anyway, don't you dare," says James - and I'm not really sure whether he's serious or not. "There's no way you're going to hurt Alex. She doesn't need you, so don't even think about it," he declares solemnly.

"Guys, stop it! She's not interested in me, so why argue about it?"

"Oh, because you'd like her to be interested in you?" throws Tris at me.

"You're making me tired," I sigh.

I get up and head for the stairs. I turn around one last time to catch a glimpse of the boys' victorious looks before disappearing into my room.

What do they have to speak to me about Alex? I blame Tris for seeing what happened last night. It was our moment, not his. My stolen moment with Alex.

And then she just turned up at the right moment and comforted me, that's all. Exactly the same thing would have happened with anyone else. Anyone? scoffs my conscience. Would you have said that to anyone? Would you have collapsed into anyone's arms? Would you have let anyone comfort you the way she does? Shut up, I answer, sighing. That's what I thought, she says, before shutting up.

What if the guys were right? What if I'd actually like her to be interested in me? What if I was starting to feel things for her? What would happen? Would James be angry with me? Would he accept it? Does she feel anything for me? We've known each other for such a short time, but would it be possible?

The tour starts the day after tomorrow and I'm scared.

Scared that Alex will still be around.

Scared of falling and not being able to get up again.

Scared of understanding that my heart still works, and that it may, therefore, once again be broken.

Scared to realize that Alex might be the one tosave it, or the one to make it irreparable.