When Destiny Hesitates [ZARRY]

Chapter 21

Zayn's POV

I find Harry curled in on himself at the edge of my bed, shoulders hunched defensively. My heart cracks seeing his usual walls rebuilt stronger than before after tonight's disaster dinner. I settle close, pulling him into my arms, but Harry stays rigid against me.

"Baby please, I'm so sorry about my family," I whisper helplessly into his hair. "I promise nothing changes how much you mean to me..."

Harry shakes his head minutely, finally glancing up with sheeny eyes. "I know you can't force them to like me," he mutters back, defeated bitterness twisting his soft mouth. "Just sucks being constantly reminded I'll only ever be the temporary interloper in your perfect life."

His words hit like a punch to the sternum, stealing my breath. "You know that's not-" I start to reiterate desperately but Harry cuts me off.

"Please Z, I can't right now..." He turns away, effectively ending the conversation and wrapping impermeable walls back around his shattered heart. Shutting me out too in the process.

I sit back heavily as if struck, sorrow and frustration choking me. No matter what I do or say lately, the damage haunts Harry worse each time, my family's unintentional carelessness with his tender feelings too painful to withstand.

My phone chimes with an incoming text notification. It's an Instagram story post from Luke. In the photo, he and Calum are pressed together under twinkling patio string lights, arms looped casually around each other's waists, matching playful smiles on their handsome faces. Captioned "new best friend from football team, Zayn don't be jealous!" with heart emojis.

Irritation sparks unexpectedly seeing Luke so happy and cozy with my other teammate. I know that's just his usual joke, maybe he does feel like our friendship drift a part a little now that I have boyfriend. But I don't know, I just can't handle that joke. I am jealous. I should be thrilled if something romantic might finally happen for them especially after I know Luke has a crush on Calum for so long already, even before I met Harry. If anyone deserves happiness here, it's absolutely Luke.

But I can't deny part of me recoils selfishly wishing Luke would stay tucked comfortingly by my side instead of exploring something deeper with Calum. Especially with everything crumbling despite my best efforts with vulnerable Harry right now.

Harry's POV:

I slide silently into Luke's backseat Monday morning, avoiding making eye contact in the rearview mirror where a tentative smile falters seeing my obvious gloominess. The persistent ache behind my ribs flared up again last night after replaying memories from the emotional dinner party.

Just more glaring proof no matter what Zayn claims about choosing me first now, those closest to him will never see me as belonging over Luke. Can't exactly blame them I guess when there's over a decade of fondness binding him seamlessly into the very threads woven through Zayn's charmed inner circle.

When we pull up at Zayn's house next, my breath catches uncomfortably seeing him avoid our usual backseat snuggles and crawl right up front with Luke instead. Their playful greeting peck seems too intimate suddenly even though it's always been that way.

I shift my attention to staring silently out the window but tension still crackles quietly around us the whole ride. I don't miss Zayn's irritable mutter after glancing up from his phone either. "So that pic snuggling Calum means you go on a date last night after my family dinner then, that's why you excuse yourself earlier last night?"

Luke's eyes flick to me briefly in the mirror before focusing calmly back on the road. "Haha funny...it ain't a date and you know well I'd never bail on your fam without good reason," he soothes lightly. "Just some silly posts taken out of context."

Zayn makes a noncommittal sound but I see his shoulders soften slightly from their rigid hunch. Not for the first time since this strain with his parents started, longing pierces through me wishing I had even a fraction of Luke's easy closeness with Zayn to cling to right now...

The start of a new school week drags by painfully slow. But true misery settles like a choking fog when I overhear conspicuous whispers in the locker room after gym class.

"Dude have you seen the pictures going around? New kid Harry hardcore macking on both Calum AND Zayn..."

"No way, for real? I knew he gave off slutty vibes."

"Bet he'll drop Zayn next and try getting with Luke again if those two don't shut that shit down..."

Their cutting words wash over me colder than icy rain. Of course, the one place I started feeling cautiously at home would turn just as smothering as everywhere else the instant petty drama sinks its claws in. Maybe hoping for somewhere I might ever plant permanent seeds instead of passing briefly through was blind optimism this whole time after all...

Luke's POV:

I blow out a tense breath craning my neck trying to spot Harry in the halls between second period. Ever since we stepped out of my car this morning, he's been eerily quiet and withdrawn even for his usual reserved nature. I figured it was spilled over gloominess from whatever caused strain with Zayn's parents still.

But as the malicious gossip reached my ears after a few classes, icy understanding trickled down my spine. No wonder poor Harry looks one sneeze away from crumbling beneath his paper-thin facade holding back the hurt.

When I passed a crying girl in mascara-smudged hysterics before lunch mumbling something about walking in on her boyfriend kissing that "homewrecker new kid Harry", more clues clicked together painted a very ugly picture of what Harry is enduring today. One he doesn't deserve whatsoever despite clearly thinking the opposite if the utter defeat hunching his broad shoulders means anything.

I finally spot Harry slipping into the boys' bathroom down the English hall just before next bell. Even from here his ashen complexion and the way his arms wrap around his middle screams vulnerability. I follow quickly, knocking tentatively on the door before cracking it open gently once I hear the faint click of the lock.

My lungs squeeze painfully taking in Harry slumped on the grubby tiles against the back wall of the stall, eyes bloodshot and hair dishevelled from raking his fingers through the tangled mess. Still, he startles badly as I edge inside, head whipping up anxiously. I lift both palms placatingly even though he looks torn between fight or flight, every muscle coiled tight like a wounded animal.

Slowly crouching at a non-threatening distance, I infuse as much kindness into my voice as possible addressing this fragile boy who came to mean too much too fast before either of us realized. "Harry...I'm so sorry. About all those shitheads out there, what they're saying. Please believe none of us who really know you think even one bad thing..." I trail off helplessly, throat choking up.

Will my reassurance be enough to combat the brutal isolation and judgement ripping Harry's tender heart to ribbons? For his sake and my own fracturing one, I have to pray the steady affection between us now can slowly heal even these kinds of deep lacerations...

Zayn's POV:

My mouth twists bitterly getting another forwarded screenshot, this time of some sophomore I vaguely recognize making crude speculations about "the likelihood my pretty little rebound boytoy will put out for half the football team once I drop him..."

Fury trembles my fingers hearing so many vile strangers pass judgment on my sweet Harry's character over and over. Quite the hypocrites really considering their own tendency to juggle through well-known weekend hookups without blinking. Yet they crucify Harry over things entirely fabricated in his case.

I knew bringing such a genuine person into my circle dominated by popular kids drunk on social status and egos would meet some resistance. But I never anticipated this degree of ostracizing harassment from all sides designed specifically to shatter the self-esteem of someone already struggling with confidence.

My own shortcomings feeling helpless to shield someone I adore from further pain only rubs salt in the wound. But once this mess hopefully passes, all I can do is continue proving to Harry every wretched word fuelled by petty jealousy holds zero weight to me next to his pure heart I'm blessed to call mine...