When Destiny Hesitates [ZARRY]

Chapter 25

Zayn's POV

I pull Harry close breathing him in as we stand entwined on my doorstep, the sweetness of reunion flowing through us. My soul feels blanketed in rightness having his sturdy warmth fitting perfectly against me once more.

We trade soft kisses until Harry's stomach rumbles loudly making me chuckle. I guide him towards the kitchen with an arm looped around his tapered waist unwilling to lose physical proximity yet.

While Harry settles at the counter, I move around reheating leftovers from Mum's latest culinary experiments. As the saucepan warms, urgency pulls at my own bladder.

"Food will be ready in five, babe. Be right back!" I call over my shoulder, dropping a smacking kiss to Harry's cheek before rushing off.

Returning shortly feeling relieved, affection swells seeing Harry scrolling through his phone waiting for me. Probably catching up on a week apart as I potter around finishing lunch prep...

Harry's POV

My ears tune out sizzling from the stove as I refresh Instagram absently. Zayn's mum just posted a batch of trip photos yesterday it seems.

I click through smiling softly seeing Zayn so relaxed frolicking beachside with his family and Luke's. My stomach drops unexpectedly though landing on the final photo: a candid shot of the two boys curled together on a hammock, Zayn's face nuzzled into Luke's smiling neck.

The caption reads "My sweet sonshine and his darling hubby! Grateful they found each other so young."

I blink hard against the sudden sting. Just when I made peace with their unbreakable bond remaining within platonic limits, this stark reminder of their soulmate connection despite what Zayn claims slaps me cruelly.

Who was I kidding believing someone I've known barely six months could ever eclipse a lifetime's worth of history carved into the bedrock linking their interwoven worlds...

My appetite vanishes instantly even as Zayn cheerfully plates our reheated food across from my tense frame. I hand his phone back mutely unable to meet the happiness shining unaware in those whiskey eyes I'm once again predetermined to never fully belong in.

Because some lines fate etched before my fleeting entry simply won't rewrite themselves no matter the false hopes and promises filling my foolish head these days...

....

I shove my textbooks into my bag, jaw clenched against the threat of helpless tears. Behind me, Zayn sighs heavily.

"For the thousandth time babe, she was joking! My mum adores Luke but as the son she never had. That stupid caption means nothing about our actual relationship."

I bite the inside of my cheek stubbornly. Sure didn't seem like just a silly offhand joke seeing how seamlessly their families have interwoven lives for over a decade now. But explaining that deep rooted insecurity to Zayn yet again threatens what little composure remains keeping me functioning.

Warm hands grasp my shoulders gently turning me to face earnest amber eyes. Zayn's forehead creases with concern and frustration sucks the air violently from my lungs. I don't deserve someone so endlessly patient tormenting themselves over my melodramatic sulking.

Stepping back stiffly dislodging his touch, I grab my backpack and avoid his searching gaze. "I should just head home to study. Have a goodnight."

Before Zayn can respond, I slip out his bedroom avoiding the hurt surely darkening his expression now. Each step away ignites fiery self loathing and regret in my churning gut. But the damage constantly inflicted from my stubborn reluctance to embrace happiness without waiting for the next shoe to drop cannot be undone so easily anymore. Perhaps some time apart will help clarify priorities from both sides...

Once home I toss my bag aside, exhaustion seeping bone deep suddenly. As I scrub gritty hands over my face, frustrated tears finally spill hot trails down cheeks flushed with shame. Collapsing back onto familiar blankets that used to be sanctuary but now only magnify loneliness, the gaping maw in my chest aches with how desperately I wish things could be different.

If only resentment didn't continue festering because loving fully requires surrendering the compulsive need to self protect. If only patience and communication could mend this endless push and pull looping dizzily between my battered heart and Zayn's unwavering one. If only fear wouldn't perpetually sabotage the first real chance at joy fate dangled before my jaded gaze only to watch me repeatedly recoil from its luminous promise...

But wishes never weave their own wings to lift brokenness beyond the shadow's reach alone. So tonight and all those stretching lonely ahead now, I'll wrestle ferocious demons hissing I ruin everything good until the weight of that truth refuses denial come morning...

Zayn's POV

I triple check the picnic basket, nerves and excitement churning my gut. Tonight has to be perfect after days of Harry's distant hurt simmering silently no matter how I pleaded and reasoned. So I've planned an over-the-top cheesy romantic date night involving all of his favorite comfort foods and nostalgic activities under the stars.

Before doubt creeps in, I smooth a hand over my slicked-back quiff and head next door to collect my sullen boyfriend who has no idea the lengths I've orchestrated trying desperately to erase the misery of my thoughtless mother's caption about Luke.

The surprised smile cracking Harry's drawn face when he opens the door makes my heart clench painfully. I really don't deserve this sweet boy after indirectly causing him such agony. Determination to replace that doubt with devoted certainty flares hotly under my skin.

I simply hold out one hand wordlessly until Harry's slim fingers intertwine trustingly with mine once more. Gathering his wrist, I brush my lips tenderly over prominent knuckles in silent promise tonight marks the first steps towards healing. Harry sucks in a tiny breath at the gentle motion, eyes glimmering again. Perfect, I'll take any spark reigniting beneath the shadows' smothering hold.

The short drive passes similarly wordless but softer somehow, the tension leaked out from gaping cracks. My thumb strokes Harry's knuckles anchored safely in my palm until we pull up at the vacant drive-in theater location on the outskirts of town.

When Harry glances over with confused intrigue, affectionate hope flutters wildly. I squeeze his hand gently. "Wait here, be right back!"

Rounding the car, I open Harry's door with an exaggerated bow making him huff out a small laugh. The sound blankets my stressed heart instantly. Reaching behind the seats, I pull out the carefully packed picnic basket of all his craving comforts then unfurl a cozy blanket next door.

Under luminous moonlight I array our meal feeling Harry track my movements with glittering emerald curiosity melting residual frostiness. As I finish laying everything out perfectly, nostalgic film score music begins swelling through crackling speakers. I extend a hand to where Harry waits leaning against the car's hood, eyes shining brighter than star-studded skies above our private dinner scene straight from a romance movie meant just for him. Just for us.

His lips part softly taking details as I lead him onto the fuzzy blanket nest. "Zayn this is..." Harry's whisper fades out, emotion creasing his beautiful face. He shakes his head slowly before meeting my vulnerable hope with watery jade sincerity. "Thank you," Harry exhales clutching my hand fiercely now. "You didn't have to..."

I cup his jaw reverently then, stroking one sharp cheekbone watching him nuzzle instinctively into my palm. "Yes, I did, baby," I murmur thickly. "I'd craft the moon into a diamond necklace or bottle every firefly spark just trying to glimpse your stunning soul if that's what it took proving you're my forever and fate intertwined ours for a breathtaking reason."

Harry sucks in a thin wet breath, eyes squeezing closed against a single escaped tear. My chest cracks and I gather him fully into my lap, arms invincibly tight mending our fraying edges as we cling wordlessly now under dazzling constellations winking encouragement that despite missteps along the journey, no compass could ever guide truer than my heart tethered eternally to this boy's remarkable one...