When Destiny Hesitates [ZARRY]

Chapter 24

Zayn's POV:

I sink my toes into warm sand, gazing out at the tranquil blue horizon as gentle waves lap the shoreline. Early summer breeze caresses my skin with memories of childhood adventures built upon this very stretch of treasured beachside. Luke's laughter rings nearby as he tries unsuccessfully wrangling an overeager kite string.

Smiling softly, I snap a candid photo on my phone of Luke's windswept golden mop of hair framed by cloud-dotted skies meeting cerulean water. The serene joy so quintessentially Luke never fails catching my affection.

Uploading the moment to my Instagram story, nostalgia washes over me. Our families have shared this cozy shoreside cottage retreat each year for over a decade now. And no matter life's unpredictable seasons tossing us about the rest of the year, this peaceful week of salty air and blazing bonfires remains our one pure constant.

Except... I release a small sigh thinking of Harry's poorly masked longing when the vacation reminder entered conversation at the ice cream shop. His words still slice painfully recalling the quiet desperation in his defeated tone insisting I enjoy cherished tradition without altering it for his inclusion.

Because at the core, my hope of Harry joining us means tantalizingly little next to double edged sword reality: even my warmest invitation cannot rewrite the past where he remains perpetually peering through frosted glass at this lifetime's worth of memories built brick by brick without him...

Pulled from brooding by Luke's shrieking giggles as the freed kite buckles wildly at last, fondness tugs my lips upward. Beaming brighter than the luminous ball of sun-soaked gold bounding over, Luke read my contemplative expression instantly.

"Alright dark and gloomy, enough daydreaming!" He chastises playfully, poking at my stomach. I swat his intrusive hands away laughing despite myself. "Mums are putting you on grill duty for those veggie kabobs you love, so c'mon!"

Luke tugs me eagerly towards our families chatting nearby about dinner prep. No matter my conflicted thoughts of one absent curly-haired boy who perhaps holds this scene's lone missing piece, gratitude washes through me for the grounded beauty encapsulating everything familiar.

After dinner stuffed full with my family's world famous biryani, Luke convinces both sets of parents to let us stroll along the shore awhile enjoying a colourful sunset. I lace up my beat up Vans contentedly and we set off with carefree steps softened by sugary sand.

As jewelled dusk blankets us in hazy lavender, Luke nudges my elbow playfully.

"Here's to the last decade plus of adventures on this beach and counting!" He declares smiling softly.

The answering tug of my own mouth comes easily reflecting his gentle joy. I hook an affectionate arm around Luke's shoulders glancing over my own silhouette outlined by vivid coral and violet bleeding above rolling navy waves. Perfect ethereal contrasts quite fitting for the timeless faithful support found in a best friend who knows my entirety like his own...

After capturing another photo of fuchsia smeared skies reflecting off my tranquil grin, I forward the glowing image to Harry without allowing hesitation to creep in this time. No message, just evidence of golden hour magic woven by tireless forces far greater than either my invitation or his resistance.

A world crafted long before our blinks of existence where he need not question deservedness of simply belonging at the blessed side of someone intended as his always...

Bidding goodnight to Luke later as we part into adjoining guest rooms, I fall asleep still visualizing emerald eyes tracing my blissful portrait framed by eternal summer shared so many times before in this beloved seaside haven. And even miles apart slumbering under the same constellations tonight, I hope Harry feels the wordless promise carried in starlight that this peace or anything else will never feel fully whole until he is here shading next year's memories beside me without hesitation...

Harry's POV:

I scrub tired hands over my face leaning away from another round of violent video game explosions lighting my bedroom in artificial neon. Sighing heavily at the clock blinking another late lonely night ahead, my phone screen suddenly illuminates with an incoming notification.

Unlocking the device absently, my breath catches seeing Zayn's handsome smiling face lighting up my messages. Heart lurching, I register the serene vacation photo of him awash in golden coral beaches meeting misty lavender skies behind. Utter contentment radiates from his casual posture, familiar laughter crinkles fanning from those whiskey eyes I ache to admire in person again soon.

Underneath the peaceful portrait, no caption or context accompanies. Just silent evidence Zayn's charmed world continues spinning joyful orbits without my sullen presence casting gloom upon their glittering solar system this week. I squeeze my eyes shut against childish melancholy threatening to spill over, jaw clenched. Didn't I crave solitary peace before Zayn's effervescent arrival sparked irresistible light within my shadows? Why does even voluntary distance now ravage insecurities I resent him for stirring to life simply by seeing warmth saved for another?

Shame douses my flaring envy almost instantly though. Sweet patient Zayn deserves enjoying familial traditions binding his soul without my sulky self-pity raining bitterness upon that same shoreline embodying only fond nostalgia for them both before I ever wandered unwillingly into frame...

Steeling my resolve before old doubts corrode fragile growth, I trace a reverent fingertip over Zayn's handsome summer-kissed features onscreen.

True peace never required me desperately grasping to imprint myself amongst these sacred lifelines woven long before my fleeting role emerged. Real maturity now lies in embracing gratefulness for even brief intersections of paths destined to diverge when my next reluctant migration inevitably unroots me once more...

With deliberate care, I craft a sincere reply:

Harry: Glad you're having nice relaxation time away! The colors are really magical 😊. Enjoy the rest of your trip, travel safely back.

My thumb hovers tentatively before adding three hearts. Zayn deserves feeling my full support despite wistful envy no longer holding sway as we walk our separate lines this week. After all, falling in love often requires embracing sacrifice by elevating the other's highest joy before selfish desires. And somehow, seeing Zayn's true happiness shine at my expense fills the empty well of my chest with far greater hope than chasing fleeting satisfaction ever could...

...

I glare at my phone for the third time in an hour, willing it to light up with an incoming call from my absent boyfriend off frolicking beachside without a care in the world.

Hmph. Zayn's probably so distracted by umbrella drinks and building sandcastles with Luke, he can't be bothered responding to my dozens of unanswered texts either.

I mean, the least he could do is send me more emo naval-gazing sunset pics with thoughtful captions like:

Wish you were here Hazza! The gang misses your sweet face. 🥺👉👈

pouty Zayn selfie with the caption Counting down the moments 'til you're back in my arms!

Photo of a sand mermaid sculpture Made this for you out of love and seaweed xx 💚

But nope! He's clearly having far too fabulous a time with Luke the Ever-Patient Bestie to remember his poor abandoned boyfriend and sole light of his world.

Hmph again. I bet they spend 24/7 frolicking happily without clothes on too since it's SO private there. Skinny dipping and twirling each other under waterfalls, dancing naked hand in hand along the tide under the moonlight. Laughing with their perfect shiny hair whipping ethereally in the coastal breeze...

Ugh OKAY wow, reeling that scandalous fantasy bus back in. This is Lucas and Zayn, wholesome brotherly life partners since womb-hood. Surely my R-rated romantic imagination just needs a cold shower now, not actual steamy imagery involving my boyfriend's gorgeous moon-kissed naked torso on wanton display for anyone else.

I squeeze my eyes shut with a shudder. Right. Refocusing brain cells on reasonable reactions, not vivid nude Shakespearean beach romps starring my unfairly hot boyfriend and equally attractive childhood bestie soulmate.

Blegh! Where's my phone, I'm calling Zayn again to cut short this highly inappropriate mental detour.

cue aggressive thumb jabbing at screen with pouty lip