Kamui Gakupo x Reader

What Happened?

You awoke to the calming sounds of birds chirping and the soft morning light of the sun caressing your face. You slowly got up, feeling like you just the best sleep of your entire life.

You automatically began moving your hands around in an attempt to find your alarm clock through your sleep blurred eyes before you suddenly remembered that you were no longer in your own bed, let alone your own house. Everything began to replay inside your head slower than how you would have preferred. Thoughts, feelings, views, and images all being slowly processed through your mind, tormenting and torturing you from the inside. Gakupo was currently not in the room and being alone made you feel so isolated that you felt like screaming.

Tears began to fall rapidly from your eyes and the screaming silence that surrounded you was deafening. With yesterday's events playing through your mind as clearly as a movie set to HD; quickly, the feeling of loss completely consumed you.

You eventually began to hear sounds other than the silent pain of your thoughts. Contorted sounds began to fill the room and, to your surprise, you soon found out that it was the sounds of your own, crying voice.

You had always been a strong person, so finding yourself crying was a rarity. You didn't know that crying like this could be painful and that the unfamiliar sounds that quietly echoed in the room was that of your own voice.

It hurt. Your eyes felt sore and swollen and your throat tightened, making it difficult to breathe. You wrapped your hands around your neck, subconsciously thinking that that would make you feel better. Pulling the covers of the bed over your body, you curled in a ball and cried inside your cocoon of linen.

A few minutes pass and your tears slowly began to stop, you heard the faint sound of a door open.

"(Y/n)? Are you here?" Gakupo's deep though soft voice resounded in the room, stifling your sadness momentarily.

You didn't want Gakupo to see you cry more than what was needed, so you covered you face with your arms and curled up tighter, hoping that Gakupo won't notice you under the sheets. That's most likely why you hadn't cried a lot in your childhood; because you thought that you would inconvenience your friends and family if you cried too much. And the amount that you cried in front of Gakupo yesterday was enough in your opinion.

To your dislike, Gakupo had seen the covers of the bed move slightly and he walked over to the bed. You felt the bed move up and down as Gakupo sat down and you curled tighter into your ball.

You felt a hand rest on your side and heard a voice so deep and calming, that you felt like you couldn't do anything but relax.

"(Y/n). Are you okay?" Gakupo said in a steady voice.

You turned your head to the side so that it was almost completely smothered in the bed, not wanting to reply.

"It's okay, (y/n). You don't need to feel like it was your fault. You couldn't do anything about it. Don't feel like you should have left earlier because that wouldn't have changed anything."

There was a long silence that followed. You slowly began to dislike the words that had come out of his mouth. "But I could have." You said quietly.

Another silence followed.

Feeling like what you were saying didn't get to him, you repeated the sentence louder. You were sure he heard it this time.

"(Y-y/n)?" Gakupo stuttered.

"If you didn't go on when you were trying the press your feelings on me and left when I said I wanted to leave, we wouldn't be in this ordeal at all!" You said with anger. You decided that you needed to get out from under the covers say this in front of his face.

You clambered out of the covers and looked at Gakupo, who was now staring wide-eyed back at you.

"A-are you blaming m–" Gakupo started.

"Yes..." You intervened. "... Yes, I am."

"B–"

"But what? It was your fault." You said, anger filling your eyes.

"(Y-y/n)." Gakupo stammered again.

"I'm gonna go to the shops and buy myself some clothes seeing as I have only this," you got off the side of the bed, gesturing to your current outfit, which was becoming very stiff and uncomfortable. "And I don't want you to come with me. Yes, I'm blaming this on you, but currently, I have nowhere to go, so I'm taking a walk." You walk out of Gakupo's bedroom and towards the spare bedroom where you had left all your belongings – and your wallet.

"(Y/n), wait," Gakupo said, standing in the doorway of his bedroom and looking at you with a sort of soft intensity.

You didn't want to reply, but you made the effort to stop and half turn back towards him, to listening for another one of his excuses.

"I have made breakfast if you would like to eat it. I don't know how I could make it up to you and I understand how I have made you feel, but let's start with breakfast, ok?" Gakupo didn't take his eyes off you once.

A long silence followed as you considered his request.

It was true that you were angry with him, because if he wasn't trying to encompass you in his love, you could have gotten back home in time and stopped this whole situation.

Your thoughts ended there as you accepted to Gakupo's request.

"I'll have breakfast with you, but I am still going shopping by myself."

"Sure," Gakupo said, but there was faint uncertainty in his voice.

As Gakupo left for the dining room, you went to retrieve your phone and wallet before meeting him in the dining room. A delicious looking breakfast was prepared and laid on the table perfectly before your eyes. Despite your mood and current feelings towards Gakupo, this was quite an extravagant breakfast – even for you.

You sat down without a word and briefly stared at the food in front of you, then put your hands saying "Itadakimasu."

You began your meal and realised how good the breakfast actually was. You heard Gakupo give a slight "Hmph." He must've seen your facial expression after trying the food.

Without lifting your head, you looked at Gakupo. He wasn't looking at you but you knew he was avoiding doing so.

Soon enough, you finished your meal and stood up, grabbing your plate and cutlery and walking to the kitchen before Gakupo, himself, was finished. You put your plate and cutlery down beside the sink and walked back into the dining room to collect your phone and wallet.

With no regard for Gakupo, you walked out of his house and down the street, completely in thought.

What has happened to my life?