I'm Your Only Hope

What Now?

"So... what does that mean?"

Everyone waits, silent, barely breathing, eyes locked on Manager Sejin as the machines beep in the background.

"The doctor's aren't sure if - " his voice hitches. He swallows hard, eyes reddening. "They don't know if... when he'll wake up. But he made it through surgery. That's more than they already expected. Right?"

He glances around at them all, eyes wide, as if he's desperate for someone to agree with him.

"Right," Jimin's pale voice agrees. "Hyung already beat the odds once. He'll do it again."

"We all did," Taehyung adds, sharing a weak smile with Jimin.

It's all Ami can do not to scoff. Or cry.

Her eyes land on Hoseok lying pale and thin on his bed, tubes and IV's popping out of him from all over; keeping him alive when she couldn't. The doctor's say his heart stopped several times during surgery.

"We should all get some rest," Sejin says, taking a deep breath that sounds more like a sniffle. He gestures to RM, Jin, and Jungkook. "The three of you have flights tomorrow - "

A barrage of arguments break out. Sejin booked the three of them for the flights before the attack on Hoseok. Now that he's at death's door, they don't want to leave. They can't leave. Their friend is dying. Where else are they supposed to be?

A tight ball builds in Ami's throat, trying to force its way out. Without a word, she walks out. She can't leave, either, but she can't stand to be around them. How can she? After what she did? After failing him so abysmally, how can she cling to him the way his friends deserve?

Ami runs to the restroom and locks the door, her stomach rolling. She grips the cold sink, panting heavily, struggling not to vomit into the porcelain bowl.

She can't do this. She's already failed, she can't become even weaker.

"He's still alive," she croaks, her voice echoing in the empty room.

Swallowing the rising panic and bile, she looks at herself in the mirror. The disposable scrubs they gave her hang over her body loosely. Little flecks of dried blood still cling to her neck, like gruesome freckles. She blinks, pale and flat, like some kind of wounded animal. Except she can't get hurt.

"He's still alive, Go Ami," she says, standing up straight. "Do your job."

Her voice hitches on the last word, but she ignores it and heads back to the room. Her hand lingers over the nob, voices drifting out full of hope and sadness. She doesn't deserve... she shouldn't be a part of that. Her job is to protect. She doesn't need to be with them to do that.

So she settles down in a row of chairs just opposite the room, stiff and ready. Her eyes are heavy, her stomach growling painfully, but sleep and hunger don't matter. All that matters is Hoseok. His life. His survival. She can't fix him, but God can. Surely He has a plan. It's Him that wanted Hoseok to survive, after all. Right?

Or was it?

Ami goes over yesterday's events for the hundredth time, trying to make sense of them. Why had Samuel been here? Why had he wanted her to kill that man? Who and what had that young man been? Why was he strong enough not only to move her, but to send her flying? Only Guardian's should have that kind of power, but if he's a Guardian, why would he want to hurt Samuel? Or Hoseok?

And then there's Sarah. Blank-faced and gun aimed directly at Hoseok. The tightness forms in her throat again. What was she doing there? How could she hurt Hoseok? Why did she take Samuel?