I Tried

xiv

I sat silently in the one room I knew that Antonio wouldn't come. The library was his mothers favorite room in the manor and it just happened to be the room where she took her own life. He hasn't stepped foot in here since he found her that day.

I seemed to use that to my advantage for as long as I could remember needing to. Maria would sneak Jamie in here when Antonio was in his study or out for work so that I could have unsupervised time with him.

It had been about a month since Antonio brought us back here. Luckily, he hadn't forced me to have any lunches with the wives of the men he's in business with.

He hadn't made me do anything since that night but that didn't help calm my nerves because I knew that he was fixing his burgers elsewhere, just like he always had when we were together but I wouldn't let him do anything to me.

He spent most of the day home but his afternoons were somewhere else. Then he would come home and have dinner with me and Jamie. I didn't have the energy to ask him about his days because I knew it wouldn't end well for me in the long run.

But he of course wanted to talk. He would constantly ask me about how Jamie was adjusting to the better circumstances within the home compared to what we were used to. He chuckled to himself when he would say this.

He found it amusing. "I truly do not know how you did it." I stopped moving my fork around the salad on my plate hearing him laugh. "I mean, a woman like you had to have hated living in such horrid conditions."

My gaze didn't move from my plate and all that could be heard was Jamie trying to get out of his seat. "Then again I know how stubborn you can be." I slowly looked up and saw him sipping out of his wine glass as he let out a chuckle.

"My son looks like he wants to be done so why don't you take him to his room." He said with a stern voice to the maid who had been feeding him. And without any hesitation she picked Jamie up and walked swiftly out of the room.

"I know you don't like not being able to feed him but you have to learn that we have people to do that." I was about to say something but I quickly stopped myself knowing what the result of saying it would be.

"Do you have something to say mio amore?" I shook my head looking back down to my plate but he asked again "No no, what did you want to say to me?" I looked up slowly and saw him watching me with a wide smirk waiting for me to speak.

"Then what am I supposed to be doing?" I asked quietly, trying my best to not sound rude. He looked at me amused before asking "What do you mean Veronica?" I let out a nervous sigh before I said "If I can't go to work and I can't take care of him what am I supposed to be doing?"

I spoke quietly hoping that this wouldn't upset him and he chuckled slowly standing up from his seat walking across the room to my seat. I didn't look up to him, I just stared at where he had been sitting.

"I could think of a few things." He said in such a condescending voice as he rubbed my neck gently. I made a face of disgust and pulled my face away from him. He placed his hand on the table leaning down "I'll call some of the families wives. They'll help you, even just to keep you company."

I still refused to look up at him knowing he would take advantage of anything I could give him. "I didn't realize how much you missed me while I left you alone. I'll have to find different ways for you to keep me company, won't I?"

We sat there silently for what felt like forever before he finally gave in and stood up fixing his sleeves before walking out of the room. I heard the door shut and I felt the foot on my lungs finally give me some room.

I sat back in my chair letting out such a big breath that I had been holding. After a moment of silence the door opened again and a maid walked into the room and she spoke in such a soft voice "Master has a meeting to attend but he will be back in 3 hours."

I held my head in my hand as I said "Thank you Olive." "of course mistress." she smiled and bowed her head before quickly leaving me alone once again.

~~~

I had made sure that Jamie was put down before I got ready for bed. I was planning to go to bed before Antonio got home in hopes that I wouldn't have to deal with what we had talked about in the dining room.

But as I was washing my face I heard a car door close from out the bathroom window. I looked and saw Antonio and some of his men's cars in the long driveway.

"I want that information on my desk first thing in the morning. Do you understand?" He said in that loud voice that always made me flinch no matter who he was speaking to. "Yes boss."All of them spoke in unison.

I watched as they all walked away and he stood there alone for a few seconds but out of nowhere his head shot up to the window I was standing at watching him. I flinched backwards hoping he wouldn't have seen me.

In any hopes that he hadn't seen me I sprinted to the bed turning off all the lights. I took out my hair clip and placed it on the side table and tried my hardest to fall asleep. It was a few minutes before I even heard him near the door.

The door opened and he waited before entering. Any hope that he hadn't seen me and believed I was asleep when he laughed out turning the lights on. "You always did hate when I wouldn't tell you what was going on in my business didn't you." He said loudly walking towards me.

He sat next to me on the bed when He spoke again "Stop pretending Veronica, I saw you watching me from the bathroom window." Against every instinct in my body I slowly opened my eyes.

He smiled seeing me look at him. "I didn't mean to eavesdrop." I said sitting up against the bed frame. He nodded rubbing my knee "I know you didn't. I should know to keep business out of the house while James is so young. I promised you that."

I couldn't believe I remembered even having that conversation with him. We had been married for maybe a month when I found out what he actually did. And I had asked if he would keep it away from me especially if I were to have a baby.

He promised that he would when the baby was younger. I finally looked up at him and he smiled, like genuinely smiled seeing me look him in the eyes. "I have some paperwork to fill out in my office but I should be done soon. I'll come to bed right after, alright?"

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