I Tried

xviii

I sat on the floor with him covering my lips. Holding in tears as he walked back into the house. I couldn't move, I couldn't do anything. But all of a sudden I hear a small voice "Do you need help mistress?" My head shot up and I saw a small boy standing at the door.

He flinched seeing how quick I turned to him. But I quickly turned away wiping my face. "If you wouldn't mind helping me to the couch." I said holding out my arms. He nodded and swiftly reached for me helping me up.

Before he was able to run off I asked "What's your name?" He froze in his spot before stuttering out "I-if I offended you mistress I'm sor-." "It's not to tell my husband. I just wish to know a nice boy who helped me's name."

He nodded slightly relaxing before he turned to look at me and said "Matteo, mistress." I nodded smiling before asking "And what is your job here Matteo?" "I clean supplies." I smiled trying to ease his nerves. "I'm not supposed to be out of the kitchen except to find things so I have to-."

I nodded saying "Oh yes of course, go. Thank you Matteo." He nodded before running off. I smiled looking back down to the gardens to see Jamie playing and I couldn't help but imagine him being just as sweet as that little boy.

~~~

I was brushing my hair staring at myself in the mirror when I heard the door open and shut softly. I turned and saw Maria looking around paranoid. "Did you get some?" I whispered and she walked toward me not saying a word. She pulled a blank package out of her apron.

I took it swiftly from her hand and placed it into one of my drawers. And before I could say anything she walked out of the bathroom and I heard the bedroom door open and close behind her. I looked at myself in the mirror telling myself how stupid of an idea this was.

The door to the bedroom opened again but this time it slammed shut. "Veronica!" I flinched hearing his voice. Had he found out already? I turned and saw him ripping off his tie. "Oh mio amore, how I missed you. Come here." He said as he took off his black dress shirt.

I slowly started walking toward him before I stopped in front of him and he reached for the bottom of the slip. I flinched as he yanked it off of me and could see all of me so abruptly. "You were so good to me this morning." He spoke softly rubbing my cheek softly.

I sighed knowing exactly what was going to happen tonight. "Take them off." I looked at him shocked but did what he told me. I reached for his belt and began to undo it. "Look at me." My eyes shot up to his but I saw in his eyes him telling me to continue.

So I did slowly trying to put this off as long as possible. When I was done I had to push them down his legs. I looked up at him as I thought of what he wanted me to do next. But against what I thought he grabbed under my arms and lifted me into the air.

I gasped wrapping my legs around his waist as he carried me to the bed. He threw me down like I was nothing. "Antonio." I begged but he shook his head dragging me down the bed by my ankle. "I think I've given you enough time to adjust, don't you?"

I watched him confused as he began to prepare himself leaving me helpless. "Isn't it time we try for that little girl I've always wanted." I looked at him wide eyed before saying "I'm not ready." "Oh sure you are. After all what else do you have to worry about."

I gasped feeling him inside of me so abruptly with no ease. I couldn't breathe if hurt to bad. "Or maybe to boys then a girl. Two heirs and one deal in case." I shook my head trying to push him away from me at the waist. He yanked my hair making me look at him.

"My father was lucky with me. I may not be so lucky, I haven't been so far in this marriage." I tried so hard to push him away or at least not have to look at him during this brutal disgusting encounter. 

~~~

This continued for the next 3 hours as I finally gave in and was limp across the bed. He stood up putting a pair of sweats on and brushed his hair out. "If you aren't pregnant by our 2nd anniversary- . Well you'll see." He chuckled walking out of the room to his office.

I fought every ache in my body as I stood from the bed and walked all the way to the bathroom. Holding myself up on the counter as I pulled out the small bottle. Taking off the cap I saw small light pink tablets. I didn't know what exactly it was whether it be birth control or the morning after pill.

But I took one nonetheless. I trusted Maria more than anything. She's my only friend, she wouldn't do anything to hurt me.