The sense i've been betrayed

Chapter Seven. "Kurt?"

Kurt

I could've sworn I went through this entire store. "How do you call yourselves a sheet music store if you don't have the soundtrack to Smash?" I ask myself out loud, not expecting to be met with a response, but of course, life is never normal for Kurt Hummel.

"Ugh, I know! It's like a show choir hate crime." A familiar voice pipes from the other side of the shelves, moving to the gap in the middle and flashing a sweet smile to make his presence known. We both move to the end of the display so as to talk to each other.

"Hi, Blaine," I say, in hopes of striking up a conversation. I was about to ask how he was but his new man friend slides up next to him, wrapping his stupid arm around Blaine's neck. "And Sebastian." I tried to use a happy-tone but it definitely just came out as sarcastic.

"Don't tell me that we have to figure out alternating sheet music days." That might make it easier for me to get over him but that's a bit ridiculous.

"No, of course not. It's fine." It's not.

"So uh- I've been helping Blaine together his Warbler song list." I don't care. Shut up. "But it's just like pulling teeth to get this guy off Broadway." Then maybe let him do the things he likes doing. "Or even off Off-Broadway if you know what I mean." Hahahaha. I don't know why it's taking so long for the facts of this situation to hit me.

"It was uh- good seeing you Kurt." I would've said the same if he wasn't being dragged away but the meer-horse that is Sebastian Smythe, but as the great Carole King once said, it's too late.

~~~

I was sorting through my pile of sheet music before me, occasionally talking to Rachel. I told her about my Tapestry fantasy and she didn't offer a whole lot of support, but she's Rachel so what can I expect? I can't even tell if Blaine wants to be friends. I'm seriously struggling to accept that it's over for good. And it's my fault.

"Blaine stop. Please, stop. We can talk about this. I'm just scared, okay?"

"No Kurt! It's not okay. Couples are supposed to talk about feelings. Fiancés are meant to talk about their feelings. If you didn't want to marry me, you should've told me ages ago, okay? Because I have been ready for this since before Stevie Wonder week! I've been planning all of this for us because I love you! I want to marry you and you don't want to marry me! We're at different points in this relationship Kurt! And you're right, it has been exhausting since Rachel moved out. Because its really becoming clear to me that I love you more than you love me. I can't be with you if you don't feel about me the way I feel about you."

"Blaine please baby, please. I do want to marry you, just not now. I'm scared. You know that. I just feel stressed out constantly and we can't stop fighting and my OCD is getting the better of me. I love you. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone or anything in my life. I can't break up with you again Blaine, please. I can't. You're my everything. I can't stand being away from you, the first time all I could do was sit around and cry, I couldn't think straight. Blaine, please."

"You don't need to end things again Kurt, because I am. This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do, but I need to."

"Please."

"I'll send you money for the end of this months rent but I can't live here anymore. Goodbye Kurt."

"Kurt?" Rachels voice snaps me back to reality. "Kurt, are you okay? You're crying." I didn't even notice the salt water trickling down my cheeks.

"Yeah- yeah. Sorry, what were we talking about?"

"Our mashup lesson? Jagged Little Tapestry. Kurt, I know that you're just my assistant in this dynamic but you're gonna have to pay more attention. You can't just-" And I stop listening. This is gonna be a long week.