Gamble a.i

9. "Drink your damn coffee"

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I woke up in Ashton Irwin's bed.

I woke up in Ashton Irwin's bed.

Every time I think that, it gets less and less real, but more unnerving.

And what's worse, Ashton is no where in sight. I'm left alone in his flat with nothing to do and he isn't here.

As if my day couldn't get any worse, I've gotten six missed calls from Mum, each voice mail getting more and more worried and frustrated.

"Mackayla Rene! You need to get your arse home now, young lady!" shrieked a message.

I deleted it.

"Damn, Mum. Blame your husband, not me," I mutter under my breath.

I sit on the couch, scrolling through my phone until Ashton walks through the front door.

"Hey, I brought coffee," Ashton smiles, placing a warm cup in my hand.

"Thanks," I reply dully.

There's a question on the tip of my tongue, and I don't know how well Ashton's temper is controlled at the moment. It probably isn't, but what do I have to lose?

Still, I say, "What happened to us, Ashton?"

"What do you mean?" he glares.

"You used to hate me, maybe you still do, but since the project started, you've been nicer than ever. What changed?"

Ashton shrugs. "I don't find joy in being mean to you; I never did. You're sweet and kind, and you don't deserve it anyways."

"I still don't understand," I say.

"I just want to look out for you, not hurt you."

Like I could believe that, and I guess I could, if he wasn't bipolar.

It's like certain words trip him off. One second, he's nice, and he's bringing me coffee. Another second, we're having a heartfelt talk. But the third second he's slamming my coffee against the brick wall behind the tellie.

I don't know what to expect from him, and for that, I'm absolutely terrified of him.

"Since when did this happen?"

"Since I became your partner."

"But you still hate me?"

"I never did, Mackayla."

"Are you sure? Because-"

"Oh my God, Mackayla! Can you just believe me for once? I don't hate you. You're gorgeous. You don't deserve anything my best friends throw at you."

I roll my eyes. I am not gorgeous. The other girls he's been with? Yes, they're beyond gorgeous. I'm not. I might be pretty but I'm not on the scale with his super model girlfriends.

"You don't believe me?"

"No, Ashton, I don't."

"What part?"

I stay silent.

"Just drink your damn coffee," he growls.

We sit in utter silence as our local news channel broadcasts the weather. It's supposed to be sunny and warm, with a slight chance of rain.

"Do you want to work on our project?" Ashton asks once we finish our coffee.

I nod, still afraid to talk.

"Alright," he says as he leaves the sitting room, only to return with pencils and notebooks. "What's the worst thing that has happened to you, besides death?"

I think for a moment. Growing up, Mum made sure we had everything we needed, even as a single mom; she never made us go without. So, thinking about the worst thing that has ever happened to me isn't easy.

"Well, when I was little, I wanted to be a singer. I think that's every kid's dream," I pause for a second, collecting my thoughts. "But, I really wanted it. Badly. And I begged Mum for singing lessons, guitar lessons. Mildred was mad. Mum didn't have enough money to put me through that. Finally, Mildred just snapped. I was ten, but she basically crushed my dreams.

"She told me I wasn't good enough to become really famous. She said that we're from a town of millions; no one would look my way twice. So, at that point, I just kind of gave up. But then I wanted to be a doctor, an astronaut, a librarian... I guess it's didn't really matter. I just wanted to be something."

"Basically, having your dreams crushed?" Ashton asks.

"Yeah. Exactly like that. I guess I did learn from that though. I don't ask for more than I need, but most of the time, I don't ask at all," I shrug. "What about you, Ashton? What's the worst thing that has happened to you, besides death?"

The guarded look came about his eyes, but it vanished as quickly as it got there, so I don't know that it was really there.

"I used to ride my bike a lot. Got a few bumps and bruises," he coughs and runs his fingers through his unruly hair, " but, um, one day I was riding down this street... and it wasn't a good street, mind you. I saw things a thirteen year old shouldn't have seen."

"Violence?"

"Rape," his tone was flat.

I choke on my gasp. "Did you ever tell anyone?"

Ashton shakes his head and looks down, ashamed.

"So why're you telling me?"

He looks up at me through thick lashes, "Because I trust you."

**

Ashton takes me home hours later after wasting the day away on the couch, offering to explain things to my mum and Phillip.

I happily decline. The last thing I need is for Ashton to be banned from the house.

"I won't be around tonight," he says.

"Ashton, we just spent the whole day together."

"I know," he laughs shakily.

"I'm going to go inside now," I say quietly. The curtain ruffles, and Miranda's tiny face is soon plastered against the window.

"I'll see you at school tomorrow," Ashton smiles softly.

"Or will you?"

"If not, I'm ditching and coming over here."

"So either way, you'll see me, right?"

"Hey, gotta get this project done some how," he teases.

My face drops. I had thought Ashton changed.

He didn't.

I was a fool for thinking that he could.

And what, did I like him? Why am I feeling dejected about this?

"Goodnight, Mackayla," he whispers.

"Goodnight, Ashton," I whisper back.

I get out of his car and walk to the door. I couldn't like Ashton, because we weren't even friends.

But I've liked guys that weren't my friends, so do I like Ashton?

God damnit, I've got a crush on Ashton Irwin.

Fuck.

How'd ya'll like this chapter? (I say ya'll bc I'm from a state where tractor pulling is a big thing) Anyways, let me know in the comments below!!

I'm at my dad's house for the weekend, blah, and currently eating cereal without milk bc milk is nasty.

Erin xx