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I'm nervous.
A week ago if you asked me how I felt about Skyler I would've said I hated that hoe and everything about her lying ass.
I used to find myself replaying our fight in Mondos kitchen in my head and wishing for the power to go back in time so I could've stomped her face into the ground.
Now? My grief was outweighing my anger.
Tomorrow is Sky's funeral, and crazy thing is, I have no idea how I'm going to hold myself together.
I'm not expecting to see much of her family besides from a few cousins, she never really got along with her parents.
She never really talked about them either other than a few nights were she would cry to me on the phone about how she wished her mom loved her and how she wanted to grow up faster.
I used to think her living situation was way better than mine and often I dreamed we could trade parents because hers always let her do wherever she wanted. Little did I know it wasn't what I thought at all.
My heart shattered a little every time she gave me a glimpse of her life, and eventually after a while she got comfortable and slowly started adding details to her stories.
Tauma was just another thing we had in common.
We caught ourselves sharing our fucked up situations with each other to cope, that was the first time Id ever laughed or dared to make a joke about my family but it helped, we had each other and we didn't feel alone anymore.
Raimondo talked to the boys last night about a change in security procedures that I just so happened to be present for.
He made up his mind on how we would be attending, which took way longer than it should've—overall, I agreed with everything until he said we were only going to the burial and that for my safety we shouldn't stay long.
I understand he was trying to be safe but I wasn't about to be there for twenty minutes and leave that's ridiculous.
We went back and forth for about five minutes until he gave in with a fine princess and silently left out the room after making it clear we could stay but needed to be a good distance away and watching from afar.
I was fine with that.
The day we found out Sky died Mondo went home and did some digging with Rudy. When they broke the news to me that her body was found hung in her bedroom it feels like Ive been floating through time ever since.
All week until today I was still convinced that if I press call on her contact that she'll pick up.
