Journals [FreenBecky]

Chapter 6

Freen was on cloud nine. She and Seng were inseparable. Things were going smoothly. But she'd forgotten to make time for her friends in the heat of it all. To make up for it, she invited the girls for a day out at the mall, but the only one available to come was Becky. She felt bad for partially ignoring her friends ever since Seng had become a factor in her life. She got so caught up, it was easy to forget to set aside time for her friends. She wanted to correct her mistakes.

Freen wanted it to be just them, especially because Seng had to work on Sundays. But Noey had dance rehersals, Irin got stuck babysitting, and Nam was on her own date with Kris. Becky wasn't doing anything, much like she never did anything. And she agreed to accompany Freen at the mall.

They were casually strolling through the mall. Becky was in a state of bliss, it kind of felt like she and Freen were on their own date. She found herself looking at things that way quite often. She liked to pretend, even if only for a little while. It was all she had left. But Seng corrupted her imagination too. Freen had received a text from him, who had found out he had the day off upon arriving to work.

Freen wanted to take advantage of his day off, but she was with Becky. She felt guilty that she thought of Becky as a burden in that moment. She frowned and looked over at the smiling girl by her side. Becky was not a burden. It was just unfortunate that she was here right now. She wanted to be with him. Surely she couldn't abandon Becky for Seng, but maybe she could convince her to let him come.

"Becbec?" Freen prompted quietly.

"Yes?" Becky asked. Her heart fluttered in her chest at the nickname.

"Um... Do you mind if Seng comes? He found out last minute that he didn't have to work today... If you don't want him to, I can-" Freen rushed her words, but Becky silenced her by raising a hand.

"No, it's fine. Of course he can come..." Becky forced a smile. She didn't know why, but she was expecting this. Seng tagged along everywhere. Like a puppy. A puppy that stole people's future girlfriends and journals.

"Are you sure? It was kind of supposed to be just us. Well, the other girls too... But they couldn't, you know. So now it's just us. And if he comes, that would kinda defeat the whole purpose of this... You're really okay with him coming?" Freen clarified, even though she had already told him to come to the mall.

Becky sighed. She would just have to get used to this. Freen had a boyfriend. This was her reality, and she was going to have to succumb to it eventually. "Yeah," she nodded.

Becky had tried to forget about her feelings for Freen multiple times in the past. It never worked. Now was no exception. She tried to fool herself into believing that her crush on her had passed, but could it even be called that anymore? Becky was nearly in love with her. She knew she was. There was no point in denying it to herself. But she found that it started to hurt less whenever Freen talked about Mushroom. Her heart didn't plunge when she had to give her advice or listen to her rambling about him. She didn't feel like crying every time she saw the two of them together. She was actually beginning to accept it, or she was getting really good at ignoring it. Probably the latter.

Now she was just third-wheeling with them. She detached herself from the couple and inserted her headphones in an attempt to ignore them the way they were ignoring her. They were milling in and out of various stores, searching for nothing in particular. Seng and Freen were basically attached at the hip. Becky was trailing behind. She found it ironic how More Than This by One Direction was playing in her ears as she walked behind the happy pair. It was basically the soundtrack to her life nowadays.

She found herself simply watching Freen. She was so interesting to look at. That favorite pastime hadn't faded. Even from behind, Freen was beautiful. Her hair, her walk, her body, her clothes, her ass, her stature, everything was perfect. She was annoyed by how much attention she paid to every little detail of the girl, but she could never avert her eyes.