Journals [FreenBecky]

Chapter 23

Well then what the fuck was it about? Freen just stood there, dumbfounded as Becky's figure became tinier the further she went. She disappeared completely after a while and Freen just willed herself to go on to class. She made a pit stop at the bathroom to make herself look presentable and not as visibly upset as she was.

When she walked into the bathroom, she grimaced at the way she looked. Her entire face seemed droopy. She smirked to herself at the thought. Droopy. It was a funny word. When she smiled, she looked a little less droopy and more like Freen. She stared at her reflection until she felt well enough to go ahead to class. She was terribly late now.

Not too eager to be tested or yelled at, her destination was the attendance office. Teachers never questioned late passes. It was never the question of "why are you late?" it was almost always "where is your pass?" And for that, Freen was grateful. She didn't feel like announcing to the class that she was fighting with her girlfriend was a particularly appropriate answer. When she finally obtained the stupid pass, she strolled into class determined to have a decent rest of the day. Yes, there was a problem at hand, but it didn't necessarily mean she had to sulk over it.

"How nice of you to join us, Ms. Chankimha," Mr. Bunetta quipped when she handed him the pass.

Freen just went to her seat. His statement didn't require a response. He was lucky she decided to come at all. As she sat there, she tried to tune in and catch on to what he was lecturing about, to no avail. Her thoughts were still clouded. What the hell could Becky possibly be talking about? And why couldn't she just tell her?

The entire time, Freen had been subconsciously playing with her charm bracelet. It hadn't been removed since her girlfriend put it there. When she registered what she was doing, a faint smile spread across her lips. She stroked it and smiled. Happy thoughts of Becky were infinitely better than brooding about her. Why the fuck had she been thinking about breaking up she been thinking about breaking up with her earlier? Clearly, she wasn't in the correct mindset. She suddenly felt disappointed in herself. Their first problem, and she was just about ready to call it quits. Becky was worth sticking it out. She loved her.

Although her mind momentarily filled with cute, lighthearted things she adored about the younger girl, she couldn't help but wonder what she'd been hinting at. Apparently, she couldn't tell her anything about it. Was it really that serious? What if it was family issues? Well, Freen had her fair share of that. If that was it, then the two of them could definitely share that burden. Freen couldn't figure out anything else that would make her withdraw from her. If it wasn't her, and it most likely wasn't family, what was it?

Becky went through the same thought process as she sat in her own class. Both of them reflected on it and wondered. What was supposed to fill in the gaps? Freen was wondering what on earth could've provoked all of this. Becky was worried about what was going on in Freen's household. They both had a bad habit of bottling things up. Only this time, someone had shaken it. Their minds were like soda bottles.

Becky was sick of hiding things. All of Freen's accusations were true. Even though she'd yelled them in the heat of the moment, Becky knew she meant them. While Freen was steadily trying to boost her mood, Becky was wallowing in self-pity. She felt like everything was going wrong all at once. But it could all be reversed if she just fucking talked to someone about it. The whole idea of not wanting to burden other people with her problems wasn't working anymore. It was damaging her inside, holding everything in the way she always did. Everything was being blown out of proportion all because she wouldn't just express herself.

She'd come to her decision right as they bell rung. Telling Freen wouldn't be a big deal, but she needed to know exactly what to say. In hopes of figuring it out, she set out to find the cause of everything that'd been figuring it out, she set out to find the cause of everything that'd been happening. The rumors had to start somewhere. She racked her brain to think of who would've started them all. Maybe it was Friend. Or Seng. Or Nop. The thought of it being Nop seemed a little far-fetched. The way they'd been interacting lately kind of put him off in her mind. She figured it probably wasn't him.