Lethe Vita

Chapter 40

WARNING: READ AT YOUR OWN RISK.

-x

They had searched every day for going on a week.

She had specifically taken up lessons to permit her to dive further under the water, the way Dylan and Steve could.

Every day they returned without David, she saw her sister's spirit disintegrate a little more.

She didn't know what to say. She didn't know if anything could be said.

Normally, she would tell Valerie about Aria's latest movements, about the little moments Dylan would tell her about when she came home from work. They would talk of Dylan, of David and of Curtis, before discussing how long Valerie anticipated she would remain in Maine.

Brenda couldn't talk about any of that.

She couldn't bring up her child, when Valerie was in the process of losing her own.

Brenda at first thought she had upset Valerie in some way that Val hadn't wanted to share the wonderful news.

She then realized that Valerie had purposely kept the baby a secret between her and David because it had been nice for it to stay between the two of them.

The gang had taken turns, staying overnight at Valerie's or staying in a hotel.

She always had someone with her, for everyone feared what would happen if Valerie didn't.

When it was Brenda's turn to stay with Valerie, Dylan and a fourth person were typically around as well.

"Val?" Brenda knocked on the door, opening it to a room shuttered to light. "Babe, you should really eat something."

"What's the point, Bren?" asked Valerie, rolling over on her side to face away from Brenda.

Brenda eyed the pigsty of a room.

She had contemplated cleaning it, several times.

Dylan had advised it would be better if she didn't, not whilst Valerie was in it.

"Mel already tried to get me to eat," said Val. "I'll tell you what I told him. I'm not hungry."

"You have to keep your energy up for when they bring David home," said Brenda. "You won't be able to hug him if you don't, and I'm sure David wants one of your hugs."

"David's not coming home," said Val. "I just have to face it. He's dead. He left me, just like his baby's doing."

"Don't say that," said Brenda. She knew that when her chest clenched, it wasn't from her cardiac issues. "He's alive. I know he is. He's alive, and he's trying to get back to you."

"What do you know about it, Bren?" asked Val. "Were you there when David toppled over the edge of the gallery deck?"

"No, but..."

"Were you there when he crashed into the water?"

"We've - we've been searching, and I just know..."

"You just know what? David has an escape, Bren. He has an out. If he is alive, it's clear he's not coming back, that he doesn't want to come back. So let me tell myself he's dead and maybe it'll hurt less."

"But he isn't."

"Can you just go away? I want to be alone. Why won't any of you let me be alone?"

"Because we love you, Val," said Brenda. "I - I can't understand what you're going through, but I - I..."