𝑰𝑹𝑹𝑬𝑺𝑰𝑺𝑻𝑰𝑩𝑳𝑬√

confusion

Mila's POV...

Angrily leaving the blonde haired woman who I know stood at the other side of the countertop definitely dumb folded with my past actions and my now current serious anger issues that had resurfaced, I couldn't find any place in me or pride to blame her and I knew later on I would come back and apologize for my actions.

I just hope Alex tries an understand that-

Seriously!

Mila?

Understand?

You want her to understand but look-

You threatened to kill her mom nonetheless also promised to cut off her fingers just for a freaking bottle of whiskey.  The other voice in my head whisper-yelled making me realize how my actions cannot be forgiven no matter what.

Fine I have a lot of shit going on in my life but it wasn't in my right mindset to snap at Alex and try to make her feel what I am feeling.

It wasn't her fault...

And I made her feel the warth and anger I should have reacted towards the older woman.

But here she had to suffer instead..

I deep down wish I knew better.

Stumbling on my feet before I stretched out my hand to support myself against the art crafted wall, I could feel my head becoming heavier with every step I took forward and I knew the migraine had just starting from all the shots I took. I couldn't help but wonder how hard I hadn't fainted yet.

Pausing in my tracks, I shut my eyes tight as I held and supported myself using the wall feeling my mind running wild and a strong wave of migraine hitting me and for a second I felt myself being pulled to the opposite side away from the wall but I held myself tightly.

"Fuck" I whispered after a few moments of getting myself movements but still I could still feel how hard my brain cells were throbbing and the way my eyes arched and itched for just even a ten minute sleep because I know it's probably 3am and  I had to wake up for work at 5am

'Maybe I should call Dyla' I thought but immediately contempted about the idea.

One thing I know right now is that I'm really ungrateful towards Dylan and I shouldn't add up more stress towards her by being a burden immediately after showing how ungrateful I was for all the support I received from her throughout the past years.

I could literally feel frustration building up within me...

But this time it was towards myself..

I could feel getting angry at myself like I don't understand why I can't see the good in Dylan and move on and stop being effected by Grey. Someone that didn't give two fucks when she got married to my sister after 'us' going on for a year.

I know I didn't mean a thing in their life but I still can't understand why I can't get over them..

I don't understand...

Why!...

I took me quite a long period of time to be where I am but look..

I'm back to zero!

Even though I hadn't fully moved on yet but still!

Why the fuck did they have to come back in my life.

I couldn't help but also realize that all the constant therapy sessions I had taken for the past few months including those that encouraged and pushed me to let go of my past had gone to waste.