𝙁𝙍𝙀𝙀 𝙁𝘼𝙇𝙇𝙄𝙉𝙂 ◊ 𝘚. 𝘚𝘛𝘐𝘓𝘐𝘕𝘚𝘒𝘐

◊ 𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐔𝐄

༻இ༺

***

Castiel was soundly sleeping beside me while I was leaning my head on the window, relaxing my eyes. Sam and Dean did not know I was awake and feigned sleep. I was too wired to try and sleep, knowing what would happen to Sam once we reached Detroit. They were talking lowly, but I could still hear them.

"So you got to promise something." I heard Sam tell Dean.

"Okay. Yeah. Anything."

"You got to promise not to try to bring me back."

His words fill me with dread, and I can feel the tears sting my eyes as I try my hardest not to start crying or letting Sam and Dean know that I'm awake.

"You can't ask me to do this," Dean says sternly.

"I'm sorry, Dean. You have to."

"So then, what am I supposed to do?

"You go find Lisa, take Ollie with you. You pray to god she's dumb enough to take the both of you in, and you - you have barbecues and go to football games and Olympia can have the life she was supposed to have before Dad picked her up. You both go live some normal, apple-pie life, Dean. Promise me," Sam insists.

The ride was silent after they exchanged words, and I was crying silently in the back seat, hoping it was dark enough for them not to see the tears streaming down my face.

***

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CICERO, INDIANA

AUGUST 2010

FIRST POV

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The alarm clock blaring is what wakes me up from the nightmare. I groggily sit up, and I feel my cheeks are damp. I quickly wipe away the stray tears, and after three months of having the same nightmare in a row, you would think I would stop crying about it, but there hasn't been a night where I didn't wake up crying. But would it really be a nightmare if it actually happened?

A timid knock at my door opened a crack to let me see short brunette hair and brown eyes that peeked into my 'room.'

"Hey, breakfast is ready." Ben's quiet voice filters through my room. He was still quiet around me even after three months. Hell, I would be too if Dean approached my doorstep with a strange teenager asking if we could stay with them.

"Thanks, Ben." I send him a tight smile, and he nods at me before closing my door. I sigh heavily, my shoulders sagging as I rub my eyes to relieve my exhaustion, but I don't think it'll ever leave. It started three months ago after Sam lept into the cage with Micheal and Lucifer, and the exhaustion from that day still hasn't left. It has taken permanent residence deep inside of my bones.

But there's a restlessness there, too. After years and years of driving around the country and hopping from motel to motel and from school to school, it's all I've ever known. Now, being stationary for at least three months and sleeping in the same bed, I'm itching to leave. I can't stand it, trying to live an everyday life after everything that has happened. It's just not fair.

The day starts and ends the same. I wake up from a nightmare, have breakfast, and watch TV for a couple of hours while Dean and Lisa are at work while Ben's outside playing. I escape to my room after Lisa gets home; we have dinner, and time after time, Lisa tries to make small talk with me, but I refuse to speak. After dinner, I go straight to my room, where I read until I fall asleep. Then I have the nightmare. Then I wake up. Thus, the cycle repeats.